Page 17 of My Ruthless Duke

“This is none of your business. Besides, I have not stopped attending your insipid dinners, Mary. What more do you want?” He sighed, pretending to focus on any of the papers on his desk.

“She has been asking questions about you. I feel that if you would simply speak to her and attempt to get along with her, she could satiate her curiosity.” Mary sat gently in the seat across from him, studying him carefully. He understood her point, but answering questions, getting to know her—he could not allow himself to care about her that much.

“If you do not like her inquisitions, simply tell her to stop asking. She is an adult, as are you. You can fight your own battles,” Dorian said offhand. His heart was not truly in the conversation. His mind kept wandering back to Cordelia. This morning at breakfast, she had not looked the best. Was she unwell? If he attempted to ask Mary, she was going to read too much into the subject.

Cordelia was a grown woman; she could care for herself. It was only his guilt that made him feel otherwise. Certainly, her lifehere was better than the one that she left behind, right? He placed no restrictions on her apart from the greenhouse. He had not dictated her time nor interfered. There was enough in this house that she could use as a diversion if she was bored or otherwise lacked occupation, that was through no fault of his own.

“Do you truly intend on spending the rest of your life hiding away in this study? Marriage is hardly a temporary thing, Dorian. I do not know why you are simply putting off the inevitable. You will have to interact with her, God willing, there will be chil—”

“Enough. I have made myself completely clear on this: there will be no children,” Dorian countered, cutting her off completely.

“This is unheard of.” Mary glared at him, sitting overly stiff in her chair. “Listen to me, Dorian. Whatever game that you think that you are playing, this will not end the way that you hope.”

“I do not see what concern it is of yours. Should you not be supervising your son’s lessons?”

“You cannot ignore me and pretend that I am wrong,” Mary insisted. “I know that you would love nothing more than to sit here, be miserable all by yourself in this house, swallowed up by the past and the demons that you refuse to exorcise,” Mary started, raising her voice as she spoke. She rose from her chair and leaned over his desk as she continued to fuss. “You brought her here; you have included another person into this home, and I will not stand by and watch you–”

Dorian’s temper threatened to overwhelm him. “Watch your tone when you speak to me.”

“Or?” Mary continued. “Somebody needs to speak the truth to you, Brother. Somebody needs to inform you when you are being…”

He waited for the insults to come, but she wisely stopped before his temper wholly broke.

Mary took a moment to compose herself. She smoothed down the front of her dress. “You have a very bad habit of abandoning people who need you the most, Dorian. I do not have any intention of standing by and allowing you to do the same to that lovely woman.”

Dorian’s fingers tapped against the desk. He needed something to help settle himself. “So, what you mean to say is that this is about you and your feelings, not genuine concern for my wife.”

He understood how she felt. Mary was very clear about how she felt that he had abandoned her when she needed him. So, her words struck true, just as she had wanted them to. They hurt every time.

“It would make things easier for you if that was the case, would it not?” Mary continued, her hands trembling with the anger that surged inside of her. He could see it written on every part of her face.

“How long do you intend on blaming me? How many more years will it be before you end this punishment?” Dorian answered, his own words becoming thin and sharp.

Mary stepped back, frowning to herself as she considered her next words carefully. Every part of Dorian wished to dismiss her from his company before she could utter another breath. This conversation, the same one that they had had so many times before today, was just as exhausting now as it had been in the beginning.

“You think I enjoy this?” she shot back, her voice rising slightly. “You do not know what it is like to lose everything. After Father died, I was left alone, floundering. I needed someone to hold me up, but you were nowhere to be found. And then I…”

Dorian’s expression shifted, the accusation cutting deeper than she had intended. “And I was supposed to keep an eye on you, not let you ruin yourself, while branded as my father’s murderer? I was trying to find my own way out of this! I had my own battles to fight.”

“Battles?” Mary echoed incredulously, laughter tinged with bitterness escaping her lips. “You were busy securing your future while I was left to fend for myself and my child out of wedlock! You were all that I had left to protect me, Dorian! I was too young, and I fell for too much, and you should have been here to tell me better! I fell prey to a man who showed me a shred of kindness, only to have him ruin me. I never asked for your pity, Dorian, but I did expect your loyalty!”

“I have spent all of this time trying to make amends with you. I will sit in penance for failing you for the rest of my life if that is what you demand.” He clenched his fists at his sides, the weight of her words pressing down on him. “I have ensured that you and Georgie want for nothing. You may resent me, but I have done my duty.”

“Your duty?” Mary shook her head, a mixture of anger and hurt flashing across her features. “You think providing is enough? Do you think I could ever forget that you were absent when I needed you most? That your neglect left me vulnerable?”

Dorian’s jaw tightened. “I never intended for any of this. I was wrong–”

“‘Wrong’ does not change what happened, Dorian!” Mary interjected, her voice trembling. “You do not understand what it is like to feel abandoned by everyone. Do you think I wanted to be trapped in a situation where…”

She trailed off, and he knew why.

He opened his mouth to argue but then faltered, his defenses crumbling. “I never wanted to be your enemy, Mary. I thought I was…” He did not even have a justifiable reason to explain his actions.

Mary’s expression softened for just a moment, the fury replaced by something akin to sorrow. “And yet, it was your absence that caused me the most pain. You think of yourself as my protector now, but you were not there when I needed you the most. Andnow, I am left with this resentment, this bitterness that I cannot shake.”

“Gratitude for what I provide and resentment for what I did not do are two sides of the same coin,” Dorian replied quietly, the fight ebbing from him.

“You have learned nothing, have you?” Mary’s voice softened. “If you cannot accept your mistakes and grow with them, your wife is going to pay the price. If you are miserable, so be it. Do not spread that misery around.”

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