Blake:FFS, Shay. How much longer will you be running?
I snorted. There was something so rewarding about irritating VP Blake. I texted,Two more miles. But the time varies GREATLY.
Blake:Greatly??
Izzy:Well, it depends on if I’m feeling lazy, or if I see a dog, or if I got railed last night and am out of shape because of it—that sort of thing.
Blake:Did you get railed?
I grinned and noticed that the man sitting at the bus stop was looking at me like I was out of my mind.Totally fair, dude.I texted,Seriously, Chest, you wouldn’t BELIEVE the night I had.
Blake:Good?
Izzy:I wouldn’t want him to know and get a big head, but this man was unbelievably good.
Blake:He knows.
Izzy:Oh, he does not.
Blake: Trust me. You make this noise that sounds a little bit like a sexy guinea pig and you get super bitey; it definitely lets a man know how he’s doing.
Izzy:So you know it was good for me because I became vermin-like.
Blake:YUP.
I texted,Well you make this growly noise that rumbles in your chest and your fingers get all grippy, so I know you liked it because YOU became a cat.
Blake:You also know I liked it because I came so hard I nearly blacked out.
“Oh, my God,” I said out loud with a squeal, and the busstop dude clutched his grocery bag like he thought I was coming for it. I responded withI have to go run before Bus Stop Man calls the cops.
Blake:Why? What are you doing?
Izzy:It’s this perverted little cackle, like I’m turned on and also very amused. I imagine it’s mildly unsettling to a stranger.
Blake:Do you want company on your run, weirdo?
Izzy:Well yes, but I feel like you might be slower than me and hold me back.
Blake:I promise to try my hardest.
Izzy:I’m sitting in front of Alliance Barbershop. You’ve got 20 mins.
Blake:I’m still in bed—how am I going to run two miles and be there in twenty minutes?
Izzy:Sprint, dumbass. Or drive.
Blake:Drive, she says.
Izzy:Yes! Drive here, we run, and then we drive to breakfast after.
Blake:I was going to make you breakfast.
I felt all gooey inside, like I was about to melt into a thick puddle of happy honey. I texted,You were?
Blake:Homemade pizza because I know you hate breakfast food.
Izzy:Oops I just made the guinea pig sound.