Page 45 of Accidentally Amy

“Wrong?”

“I had a turkey sandwich.”

“So basically the same thing.”

“Sure.” I could hear dishes clinking as he said, “So listen. I was thinking about us.”

My fingertips got tingly, and my heartbeat picked up.Us.God, did he want there to be anus?

“Yeah?” I said casually, gnawing on my lip and waiting for more. The Darkling meowed his displeasure that I’d stopped petting, and jumped down from my lap.

“Yeah. I appreciate your Scooter’s presentation and value its merits, but I think we’re making things too complicated.”

“You do?” I glanced at the TV and watched Ma Ingalls walk into Oleson’s Mercantile with a basketful of eggs on her arm.

“Sure,” Blake said, and it sounded like he was pounding on something. “We’re both adults, right?”

“Right…?”

“So I think we can handle it.” His voice was all cool confidence as he said, “Just because we have a little chemistry doesn’tmean we’re at the mercy of our basest instincts, right? We’re not animals.”

“Animals,” I repeated, unsure of his point.

“There’s no reason we can’t be friends who do regular friend things. Saying we can’t ever be alone is completely negating the fact that we’re grown-ass people capable of ignoring the occasional spark.”

So he saw our burning, palpable attraction as anoccasional spark—good to know.

I didn’t know what to say, so I asked, “What is that pounding noise?”

“What?”

“The pounding,” I repeated, irritated I felt disappointed that Blake’s discussion ofuswasn’t a desire to find anus. “What is that pounding?”

“Oh,” Blake said, sounding confused. “I’m making cat food.”

Fuck me, I thought. Wooden stake, holy water, garlic—all of it would never be enough. The man was making homemade cat food. “Your cats are too good for Meow Mix?”

“Too old and pukey for Meow Mix,” he replied.

“Ah.”

“Is there a reason you changed the subject, Shay?” he asked, his voice quiet in my ear.

“Not at all,” I said, a little too bright and cheery. “I totally agree that we’re not animals.”

He coughed out a laugh. “Oh-kay, but what about the rest?”

I exhaled before saying, “I mean, yes—of course we can handle it.”

“You have my word, Iz,” he said, tone gravely serious, “that no matter how alone we are, I will always behave as if we’re standing in front of the board of directors.”

“Oh.”Always.“That makes me feel so much better. Thank you.”

Blake

I thought getting it out in the open would make me feel better, but it didn’t.

The way she definitively said,That makes me feel so much better, confirmed what I’d suspected, that Izzy would never be comfortable being friends with me if she was afraid of something physical happening. I’d meant to assure her that she could let her guard down, but I felt…fuck,somethingabout how relieved she seemed.

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