Page 108 of Nothing Like the Movies

“No,” I said. “Or, he might’ve said it during the fight, but it wasn’t an apology-apology.”

Hadhe? I really didn’t think so.

“Did you tell him you were going to get back to him about this or something?” he asked.

“No, I yelled at him and left.”

That made him smile a little, but he said, “So then who cares? Who cares about your conflicted feelings? It’s okay for them to not make sense, and it’s okay to be sad about him and pissed off at him, all at the same time.”

He grabbed a stick and tossed it into the firepit. “It’s fine tohave no idea what you think about any of it—don’t you see? You can say ‘I don’t know how I feel about him’ and then just let it go. If you don’t have to get back to him with an answer on something, like, he’s not asking you out or proposing marriage, just be confused. You don’t have to figure this one out.”

“Oh my God, are you right?” I asked, shocked that his words were somehow making a lot of sense.

“I have my moments,” he teased.

Could I really just shrug andnotcome to a conclusion on my Wes Bennett feelings?

My dad hung out with me for a few more minutes after that, but then I think he sensed I needed to be alone, and he went inside.

Which left me to stare into the fire and picture Wes’s face when he’d said,There was never anyone else for me but you.

Cue “Anyone Else” by Joshua Bassett.

He’d looked so… old-school Wes.

The Wes of before, the Wes who’d been my everything.

I was still in shock that he hadn’t stopped loving me and he hadn’t cheated on me.

I just… I couldn’t believe it.

I knew—now—what he’d been going through at the time, so technically I understood his motivations. And if I were watching this plot in a Netflix movie, I’d probably be yelling at my TV,He did it because he loved you!

But it wasn’t a Netflix movie, and I just couldn’t get past the fact that he’d completely shut down. Not once during our endless text conversations and daily multiple calls did he mention his concerns.

He told me about work and his sister and his dog, and he told me he loved me, but he’d never said he was worried aboutanything. At all. I’d thought everything was perfectly fine until he dumped me out of the blue.It’s just not meant to be for us anymore.

But even then, as I bawled my eyes out, I hadn’t been mad.

He’d lost his dad and his entire world had changed—of courseour relationship wasn’t his priority. I’d been devastated, yes, and surprised by how cold he’d sounded, but in my heart, I’d known it wasn’t permanent.

Eventually, we’d find our way back to each other again.

I’d been certain of it.

Silly little love lover.

And then I learned he’d been cheating on me with Ashley. I’d hated him for that for so long that it felt like it was part of me now.My name’s Liz, I have red hair, and I hate Wes Bennett.

So now I was supposed to not only be done with hating him, but accept the fact that he’d treated me that way to save me from myself? On paper it sounded possible, but I wasn’t sure that it was.

Because it hurt my feelings, if I was being honest, that he hadn’t been able to talk to me. That he’d been going through hell on the down-low. Had he faked our every exchange after he went home, then? When we were laughing together on FaceTime and talking about how we couldn’t wait until I came home for Christmas, was it all an act on his part? Like a put-on-a-brave-face-so-the-kids-won’t-know type of situation?

It also stung that he obviously saw me as someone who’d just abandon all her goals and aspirations in the name of love. I’d alwaysassumed he saw me as strong, as someone with a little drive, but apparently he saw me as a wide-eyed, lovesick girl who’d blindly follow him around for the rest of my life unless I was stopped.

And man, had he stopped me.

I was still driving myself crazy with this emotional loop when I finally went to sleep, but I felt better about everything in the morning, thankGod.

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