Piras flinched, his expression filling with regret. “No doubt he will. But the border area between us and Bi’is is, for the most part, free of civilians. No women and children are in those sectors. At least those innocent lives will be spared if Maf’s forces attack there.”
Despite the conviction in his tone, his expression swam with guilt. He glanced at Kila, as if to plead for affirmation.
He got it. The Nobek nodded his agreement, admiration for Piras filling him. He told him, “Being sent to the Bi’is research stations in lieu of losing women and children’s lives is a respectable challenge and sacrifice for any true warrior, Admiral. Not to mention sound strategy. If Maf goes for it, defending a piece of the Bi’is border will divide his fleet. It could swing the odds back our way, even with the Earther ships taking his side.”
Piras didn’t look comforted. “Yes. Well. It’s still not a good situation overall. Certainly one I’m not happy to be responsible for. The target still has to be taken down. Men will die. I’ll have to wear their blood on my soul for all of my days.”
Lokmi’s tone was soft, even caring. “In times of war, I fear few men’s consciences emerge unstained, Admiral. It always turns ugly no matter how virtuous the cause is.”
Piras looked toward him and their eyes met. Kila felt as if something passed between them in that instant.
The admiral looked away, and the moment was gone. “We learned the ugly side of conflict all too well in the war against Earth. There are days that I wish we’d never heard of that planet. I don’t support going quietly into extinction, but I swear I sometimes think we’d have been better off without their women than the way we are right now.”
Kila knew what he meant. It wasn’t only that the Empire was caught in civil war either. The sight of Earth’s major cities blasted into dust and marking the growing numbers of the dead had made every Kalquorian with a conscience sick with guilt over their part in the catastrophe. Even now, the memories twisted his guts.
He said, “Some would say we’re getting what we deserve. We threaten ourselves with the same fate we helped visit on Earth.”
“And once more we sell our souls trying to make things right.” Piras’s shoulders drooped.
Kila didn’t know about souls. He didn’t believe in such things himself, but he had to admit that such times meant choosing the lesser of evils. Piras would make the decision, but to gain the Basma’s trust, Kila would be a part of killing fellow Kalquorians. Both enemies and allies.
It was vile. It might have even been evil. Yet the warrior part of him, the part that was pure Nobek, looked forward to fighting the coming battles. It would be that strength that would keep him sane when he must do the unthinkable.
It made him wonder what men like Piras and Lokmi would do with their shattered integrity. How would they, lacking the Nobek lust for the fight, cope when their consciences screamed too loud to be ignored?
* * * *
Lokmi studied Piras, doing his best to not be obvious about it. His curiosity made it hard to not stare outright, visibly taking the measure of the man.
So this was the fearful Admiral Piras, terror of the fleet. Piras, the man known for giving no quarter. He had burst into the room like a force of nature, seeming ready to tear Kila apart. Never mind the captain had bulk and muscle that made the elegantly built Dramok seem small. Piras’s force of will was a power unto itself, a hint of brutality fit to take down a man like Kila.
Now that the admiral had calmed, however, Lokmi registered some shock to see how delicate he was. He was not the behemoth the chief had been sure someone with Piras’s reputation must be. Not even close. His graceful body was crafted beautifully. If not for the heavy jaw that gave Piras’s face a slightly off-kilter aspect, his features would be poetically lovely rather than fascinating.
The admiral was a flawed beauty, his sleek body worth many a ribald thought. When Lokmi’s cocks gave an admiring throb, he swiftly re-directed his thoughts from how Piras looked to his demeanor.
The Imdiko had not been impressed by the fiery temper he’d displayed upon his entrance. Any asshole with rank could throw a tantrum. Yet as the conversation had developed, Piras had shown a far different side, one he’d never heard mentioned in all the stories that flew around the fleet.
For one thing, he’d taken personal interest in Lokmi’s concerns over how Kila would react to the changes he’d made in the engines. The chief engineer had not for one second thought anyone would give his report more than a cursory look. He’d contacted Fleet Command in a pre-emptive effort to cover his ass when Kila decided to have him charged with insubordination and re-assigned to a lesser duty station. Yet it seemed that had been part of what had precipitated Piras showing up.
And though Piras had called him a bully, someone who didn’t know how to properly express his Dramok characteristics, he hadn’t been nasty about it. His assessment of Lokmi’s actions had been matter-of-fact. Hell, Lokmi thought perhaps the admiral had been trying to advise rather than belittle him. It made him take Piras’s observations seriously and worry he’d indeed mistaken intimidation for asserting himself.
More interestingly still was how Piras’s character had taken shape as the conversation switched to the spy mission he was apparently a crucial part of. A conscientious side had emerged. It was plain to see the admiral suffered over the fates of the men the assignment would place in the path of harm. The level of agony Lokmi detected in Piras’s eyes triggered Lokmi’s Imdiko tendencies. His being screamed to comfort Piras. Unfortunately, their difference in rank meant only offering weak platitudes that could not soothe a man in the admiral’s unenviable position. The ridiculous urge to gather the smaller man in his arms and offer momentary shelter from duty could not happen.
It was Piras’s compassion that impressed Lokmi where angry bluster could not. And had there ever been a lot of bluster at the beginning of the meeting. Piras’s anger had been tremendous for the excusable situation of Kila unknowingly cursing his superior officer. In fact, it had seemed personal.
Even now, the way the captain and admiral looked at each other had a feeling of being more familiar than shared duty should allow. Something simmered below the surface, something hot and vital and energetic.
What was going on between them? Were they former lovers? Current lovers?
The idea of these two very different men locked together in a passionate embrace – massive, scarred Kila and lithe, refined Piras – gave Lokmi another unwelcomed jolt below the belt. The vision of such was more fascinating to him than he wanted to entertain.
Attraction to two such creatures led to nothing but trouble. Dramoks and Nobeks were an unmitigated pain in the ass as far as Lokmi was concerned. Both breeds were controlling, demanding jerks in his experience, not caring that someone who might be drawn to nurturing had his own alpha nature. More than once, Lokmi had wished the Breed Classification Bureau had named him a Dramok instead of an Imdiko. The label he’d been stuck with had given far too many men the idea he could be bent to their will. If he was a bully as Piras suggested, it was for good reason.
This particular pair represented their breeds in almost textbook fashion, reminding Lokmi of why he had never wanted to clan. Piras was known as not only being a demanding Dramok, but the biggest hardass of his kind. Kila’s reputation wasn’t much better. It took an exacting person to rise to the rank of captain, and that this particular man was also a Nobek put a big black mark against him in Lokmi’s book. He might entertain a fantasy or two about the men he worked with, but he knew to keep his distance. Men such as these were strictly off limits.
When their meeting broke up an hour later, Kila excused Lokmi for the night due to the lateness. “We will pick up where we left off later, Chief,” he growled. Lokmi bowed, feeling relieved. Imagining Kila and Piras in an intimate encounter had diverted him from the clear head he needed to face his captain. It would not do to be distracted with temptation while fighting the Nobek.
He was so sure something more was between the captain and admiral that he was startled when Piras departed at the same time rather than remaining closeted with Kila. The admiral gave Lokmi a glance before hurrying off ahead of him but said nothing. Kila stomped to his desk with a scowl furrowing his heavy brow.