Page 6 of Melody

By the time they headed back inside, Kyle was ready for that beer.

He and his therapist had talked some about drinking and smoking. To prove a point, Kyle quit vaping cold turkey the day they had that conversation. It hadn’t been easy the first couple of days, but he proved to himself he could do it.

And, as much as Kyle loved alcohol, he could go several days in between—and he didn’t feel an overwhelming desire for the next one…not like he had with heroin. The need for that drug had been all-consuming and relentless—and now, with a clear head, he knew that had he continued using, he would have joined Liam.

Sometimes, he wished he had—or that he’d been the one to overdose.

It was more than simple survivor’s guilt. It was recognizing that Liam had so much more to give the world than Kyle did. It was a horrible truth, a heavy weight, and something he hadn’t told a soul, not even his therapist, partly because he knew anyone he told would try to make him feel better, saying empty words in an effort to soothe his grief. It didn’t matter that Liam was an adult who “knew what he was getting into.” So did Kyle but it was addiction, not just an annoying habit. And if Kyle had been awake or paying attention, he could have saved his brother.

Fuck.

He really did need some distraction tonight. Although he was starting to feel better overall, especially when it came to relationships with his bandmates, he had to fight against thinking about Liam. Even over a year later, it felt fresh in so many ways—and all the talking in the rehab facility, the journaling, pouring out his heart to his therapist could only do so much.

Sometimes, distraction was key.

As the five bandmates made their way out from backstage, Impending Cataclysm was tuning their guitars, getting ready to perform. There was still a cluster of bodies around the lit-up bar area, but Kyle could be patient. Just being around this many people energized him.

These werehispeople—and, even if they didn’t know him, even if they couldn’t see inside his soul, theyknewhim. There was something about metalheads that bonded them together. Sure, there were plenty of assholes and posers, but the majority were good people who loved how the music spoke to them. Kyle had felt it even more since being on stage as opposed to the audience.

The five band members seemed to go in different directions, but Kyle was on a mission. As he maneuvered through the crowd, a guy with a neck tattoo said, “Man, you guys rocked the house!”

“Thanks, man.”

“I’ll see you guys if you come back.”

“We’re planning on it.” Just comments like those helped lighten Kyle’s mental state, but he still had one more thought:Wish you were here, Lee.

He took a spot behind two younger women engaged in frenetic conversation that he couldn’t hear over the crowd. It was then that the lead singer of the band now onstage said,“Silver City, you know we love playing our hometown. You will always be our favorite crowd. Don’t forget it!”

The crowd erupted before the band started playing. One of the girls in front of him turned to look at the band but, as she was shifting her gaze back to her friend, her eyes paused on Kyle. Although she raised her voice, it was hard to hear her over the amp across the room. “Hey! You’re from the last band, right?”

Thiswas distraction…just what he needed. One side of his mouth curled up in a smile. “Yeah. Name’s Kyle Horton.”

“I’m Julie—and this is Sabrina.”

They were almost like twins. Blonde and bubbly with too much makeup—but he liked it. Another memory briefly flashed through his brain, one of the first times Hayley had caked on her makeup. He’d barely been able to contain himself.

Older now, his ability to control himself was much better—but that didn’t mean his dick didn’t lust for beautiful women. And ever since he and Hayley had split last year, he’d been playing the field. Since they’d started playing shows at The Apothecary again, it was way easier. His job at Burger King put him in contact with plenty of young women, but there were a lot of high school girls who worked there too—and they were too young. Since getting the job as shift lead, he’d decided it would be best to not dateanyoneat work anymore.

Although that meant that his hookups usually only happened on the weekend, he was okay with it.

And he was thinking he might have that shit locked and loaded for this weekend already.

But he had to ask an important question first. “Where are your boyfriends?”

The woman named Julie giggled. “We don’t have boyfriends.”

Sabrina’s face, however, told a different story. For his part, Kyle simply raised an eyebrow, assessing their willingness to gofurther. He didn’t give a shit if they cheated on their boyfriends—he just didn’t want to get the shit beaten out of him if he got caught.

And nowadays being onstage regularly could potentially make him a target.

Sabrina, though, wasn’t coughing up any information. Or so Kyle thought.

She didn’t plan to say anything until, apparently, her conscious got the best of her. “Well, technically…”

Jerking her head to the side, Julie glared at her friend. “I don’t consider two dates to meanboyfriend.”

Although Kyle heard the words, the music made it hard to hear the tone of her voice—and, before he could ask another question, one of the bartenders shouted at them, asking what they wanted to drink.

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