Page 91 of Verses

Jesus. I didn’t know whether to be angry or upset, but he had it all wrong.

In so many ways.

And I wasn’t sure where to tackle his statement first.

“That’s bullshit, Wolf. You’re the best man I’ve ever met.” When he scoffed, I continued. “I know you’ve said you were a shitty husband, but I have a hard time believing that because you are the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“I doubt that.”

“Really? I’ve told you things I’ve never told anyone else. You’ve defended me with the guys. You’ve given me advice. You—”

“Any good bartender would do that.”

“Stop. You just said we’ve been friends.”

“I did.” He took another drink of coffee.

“But you’re right.” Shifting my gaze to the mug of chocolate, I picked up the spoon again to stir it, needing something to keep my eyes focused so I could say what was hiding in the deepest recesses of my soul. “I don’t deserve you. So I get it. If you don’t want to pursue anything else with me, then fine.” Shit. Why’d I let it slip? Hoping I could distract him with more words, I added, “I just thought we could have been a good team.”

That moment was when Wolf proved he was more than just “any good bartender.” His voice was softer, compelling me to look at him directly again. “You don’t deserve me? I feel like you’re right…but not the way you think. You don’t deserve the kind of hell I could put you through.”

“And you don’t think I went through hell with Kyle?” Yes, I had. And that was the kind of shit I did deserve. Why did I think I was worthy of anything better?

“I know you did. And that’s why I don’t want to add to that. You deserve someone who will treat you like a queen.”

“Idon’tdeservethat.”

“You do. Kyle treated you like shit and you put up with it for a long time. I don’t know what all happened between you guys, but you’re worth far more than that. He should have been worshipping the ground you walk on, thanking you every single day for everything you’ve done for him. He couldn’t do that.”

He wasn’t wrong in terms of Kyle…but he was the first person to vocalize it. Placing my hand on his, I said, “You always know how to make me feel better.”

He nodded as if I’d finally learned the lesson he’d wanted to impart upon me. “That’s what a man should do for you, Hayley. You should feel good about yourself and your man should remind you of all your good qualities. You’re a beautiful soul, bird. Even when I don’t hear it when you’re talking day to day, you let it slip in your lyrics. You are one of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever met. And I’m not an idiot. Part of yourbeauty comes from something that damaged you when you were younger—but the strength you have as you’ve risen out of the ashes…you take my breath away.”

Why were my eyes getting watery?

“I see your beauty, Hayley. I see your pain. And I want to help you heal.”

My breath was gone.

He leaned close. “As afriend. I’m not the man for you.”

What the fuck? After all that?

I let go of his hand. “You want to be friends but you lead me along like that. You’re hot then you’re cold. It’s bullshit.” And I stood, glad I hadn’t yet taken off my coat.

“Hayley.”

“Thanks for the coffee.” I grabbed a ten-dollar bill out of the slot where I kept it in my phone and threw it on the table.

“I don’t want your money.”

“I don’t care. Just leave me alone.” And I walked quickly out of the restaurant.

I was pissed and tired of this game, and I decided that my friendship with Wolf wasn’t worth saving. It was too much. And, as I pounded down the pavement, I felt even more angry that he’d added another block to my walk home by bringing me here.

But just after I crossed the street a block away, Wolf stopped his truck in the middle of the road and he yelled through the passenger window, “Get in.”

“No.” I kept stomping down the sidewalk. I was fucking tired of feeling like I was being toyed with—and, in this emotional state, I couldn’t see things rationally.

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