Page 174 of Verses

Kyle took the opportunity to interject. “Wolf, I just wanted to say…you convinced me—and you helped us. We’re better because of you. Not just me, but all of us.”

“Here, here,” said Pedro, taking the excuse to hold up his new bottle to toast and drink again.

Kyle said, “Thank you for pushing us.”

Pedro said, “Dude, you had a plan. You had the brilliant idea for all of us to learn songs from our favorite bands and somehow you knew that that would work. So, if you have another plan as to our next steps, I’m all fucking ears.”

Kyle nodded. “I’m on board with whatever.”

Adrian moved his head up and down in agreement. When Pedro stuck his fist in the middle of the table over the bottomless chips that were now down to a couple of stragglers, we all put our hands together in unity.

Pedro said, “Intent to Murder will be on the Billboard charts someday and I can hardly fucking wait. This band is my life.”

At last…words came to me. Not beautifully composed verses that I’d agonized over for days and weeks. Not song lyrics or pent-up negative shit.

But something from the heart. Something I couldn’t hold onto any longer.

For so long, I’d felt like I didn’t have a voice among these dominant men—but now I knew I could no longer stay quiet.

When I stood, the guys looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. “You guys…you’re my family. Each one of you is important to me. This band is like the air I breathe…the water I drink to stay alive. I wouldn’t have made it this far in life if not for you guys.”

I could see in their eyes that they felt the same way. We were salvation for each other. These men didn’t want to work at Walmart or Burger King or The Apothecary their whole lives, any more than I wanted to be a barista till my dying day.

We were meant to move people with our music.Together.

And I was meant to move people with my words.

“Thank you all for believing in me. Kyle, thank you for the years you spent with me. I know they weren’t all sunshine and roses, but you saved me from becoming a worse version of myself.” My head had gone there…and I knew my future had been grim before him.

His lips turned up on one side. “You don’t have to thank me, Hayl. We were good for each other.” Glancing at Wolf, he added, “Until we weren’t.”

But I’d already turned to face the man whose soul was now inextricably linked with mine. “And thank you, Wolf, for saving me from myself…for helping me find a way to start believing in myself.”

For the first time ever, I thought I saw a slight tinge of something—shyness? Humility?—in his handsome face. “It was in you the whole time.”

“Bullshit,” I said. I knew better. If it was in there, it was locked away for good, until he’d inserted the key to let it all out.

But again, words escaped me, and I leaned over and kissed him hard as my band members cheered. Not just with my bandmates but with Wolf in particular, I knew everything was possible. Our future was waiting for us and I wanted to run towards it with open arms.

It was there for the taking…and I wanted to savor every moment.

After Intentto Murder had thoroughly discussed all of our plans for the future at Chili’s, Wolf took me to his place. We were silent for a few moments as his truck drove through the darkness. Even though I wore a jacket, I could feel the warmth of spring on our part of the planet, and I was imagining steaming up these windows with this gorgeous man in a month or two.

When he said my name—myactualname rather than his nickname for me—I turned my head, looking at his facial features illuminated by the dashboard lights. “Hayley…is your band what you want it to be?”

“What do you mean?”

“This band has always been your dream. And I just want to know…is it everything you hoped it would be?”

I hadn’t thought about it…because I felt like we were still on the journey, still miles away from the finish line. I doubted that Wolf could see me shrug my shoulders, but I didn’t have a chance to vocalize.

“Is there anything that you want to be different? Or is it meeting all your expectations right now?”

Pulling a deep breath into my lungs, I pondered his questions. But I didn’t have a dream scale to compare it to. I’d never thoughtWe need to be X amount of famous by X amount of time.Instead, I had expected things to be better day by day; I’d expected our proximity to fame to be closer from week to week and month to month, with each song we wrote and mastered. Granted, it was afeelingmore than a SMART goal…but my gut had never failed me.

At least when it came to music.

“Since I discovered that singing and writing lyrics is the healthiest outlet for me…I’ve had this burning desire to entertain people with song. So I guess the answer isyes. It’s everything I want it to be. Even playing at The Apothecary when we have just three or four people half-watching us, I feel like I’m doing what I was meant to do with my life.”

---