Page 167 of Verses

“Fine. Let me get my jacket.” I didn’t care that my irritation could be heard in my voice—in fact, it was better that way. I wanted him to know he was disrupting my life—even though I didn’t mind the idea of going outside again, experiencing nature waking up from a hard, cold winter. I told Ben, “I’ll be back soon.”

He simply nodded, absorbed in something on his phone—or at least acting like it.

As I came back around the counter, Wolf was already standing but neither of us said a word. He left the roses and chocolates on the table. I was glad because I didn’t want them and wasn’t sure why he’d bothered.

As we walked outside, he was quiet. Even the direction we’d decided to go had been unspoken. After a minute or so, I considered demanding that he start talking but then decided not to even do that. This washisshow, and he had the time it would take to walk around the block to spit it out.

If not, I’d go back to work.

Finally, though, after walking past most of the shops on the block, he started talking. “Hayley.” Just the use of my namemade my ears perk up, because he hardly ever called me that. Like it or not, he had my attention. “I was trying to communicate to you that I needed some time alone, but I didn’t do a very good job at it. I’ve hurt you pretty badly.”

I couldn’t stop myself. “You think?”

Ignoring my venom, he continued. “And that time has allowed me to come to a conclusion. Maybe it’s too fucking late, but I needed to tell you.”

I refused to beg him to tell me, so I just kept walking, my eyes focused on the sidewalk.

Wolf said, “I decided I care about you too much to lose you.”

I allowed those words to cascade over me. Was what he was saying true? And did I still have room in my heart to take him back—or had I closed the door for good, no longer trusting him to protect the child inside?

I didn’t have any words—and I didn’t trust myself to say anything just yet.

“The first time I got married, I was way too young. Barely out of high school, but I thought she was the one. I hadn’t figured out what I wanted to do with my life, so I worked a lot of odd jobs, played music, and when the MC recruited me, it was easy. When she resisted at first, I felt like she was smothering me, holding me back. But the deeper I got in the MC, she did too, and it wasn’t long before she was sleeping with the Sergeant at Arms. And that meant I had to just suck it up, ‘cause that guy could have made my life a living hell. But I sure as hell divorced her ass the first chance I got.”

God, I had so many questions…but I wasn’t going to ask a single one. These were all the things I’d wanted to know about him for so long that he’d just never bothered to tell me.

“My second wife…it was ten years later, but you don’t forget your old wounds. After we’d been married about a year, I kind of pulled away…like I did with you, because I was just waiting forher to fuck me over. She knew something was wrong between us, but I didn’t know how to fix it. I just knew she was going to do the same thing wife number one did and, if I distanced myself, it wouldn’t hurt as bad. Finally, though…I got my shit together.”

As we turned another corner walking slowly, I asked, “Like now?”

“Yeah, I guess so. I got my fucking head on straight. And things seemed okay—until they weren’t. She hated the MC, even though she knew it was a big part of my life. We’d met at a bar after I’d played a show with the band I was in at the time, and she loved that side of me. I’d been up front with her about the Wickeds when we started dating. I didn’t want to hide anything. But the longer we were together, the more she begged me to get out. I still liked the club and I resented the shit out of her for trying to make me quit. It got to the point where we fought all the time—so I was at home less and less.”

We walked a bit in silence again, and I almost asked a question to prompt him…but I suspected he wouldn’t need prodding.

I was right. He said, “Until she got pregnant. We’d both saidnoto kids and she’d been on birth control. I’d been stupid enough to believe her, and when she told me she was pregnant, I knew she’d done it to trap me.”

Why the hell was I dreading what would come next? Was Wolf going to shatter every good thing I’d thought of him?

“After being angry for a while, I got over it, and I even started thinking maybe I’d enjoy being a dad. It wasn’t long before she used her condition to manipulate me. She had morning sickness, so she needed me to stay home. Or she needed a ride to see her doctor. Shit like that. But I put up with it, because I wanted the best for the baby. I even tried not to argue with her for the same reason.” We walked a few quiet steps before he said, “When she miscarried, our marriage was over. There was nothing holdingus together at that point. But I questioned myself—was it my fault? Had the stress of our relationship killed that child inside the womb?”

I had to stop myself from telling him I was sorry to hear it.

“After that, I vowed never to get married again. The women I’d committed myself to had either cheated or lied or manipulated, and I wasn’t going to put myself in that situation again. I haven’t even dated much since then.”

I simply nodded, looking down at my feet as they moved forward one step at a time. Thinking about what he’d said, it made sense to me—if he hadn’t dated since he’d been married and he distrusted women, it was shocking that he and I had actually managed to be together at all, even if it was just a few months.

As we turned another corner, I kept waiting for him to say more, but he didn’t. So I finally spoke up. “Ididn’t cheat on you or manipulate you.”

“I know, bird.” His voice sounded sad—and I wanted to tell him he didn’t get to act like that. All this shit had been his doing, not mine. “But it wasn’t long after we started dating that Kyle mentioned he wanted to get back with you.”

“What?”

“He said you belong together and—”

“And you wouldn’t fight for me?”

“That’s not it, Hayley. From the beginning, I’ve felt like I was wrong for you. For so many reasons. But you—”

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