Page 156 of Verses

Because, if I stayed, eventually I would be treated like shit.

At practice the next day,I went straight to Wolf where he stood tuning his guitar. When he looked up at me with the sweetest smile, I almost caved in.

No.

It didn’t matter that his deep green eyes seemed to see inside my soul, that his beautiful face and solid body called to me with a siren song.

It didn’t matter that I’d grown to love him with every molecule in my body.

Sucking down a deep breath in an effort to muster my courage, I said, “I’m taking a break.”

“A break? What do you mean?”

“From us. I need some space.”

He blinked a couple of times, possibly pondering my words. Then he said, “All right. Whatever you need.”

“Good.” I didn’t know what I’d expected from him, but it wasn’tthat. But it didn’t matter. I’d done what I needed to do—and if I needed to cry over it, that would happen later.

And then I was going to lock my fucking heart in a box where no one could touch it ever again.

Kyle, Pedro, and Adrian had been talking and, when they saw me standing by the mike ready to go, Kyle said, “We wanted to ask you guys something.”

Perfect. I didn’t want to look Wolf’s way anymore, so it was easy enough to turn around to face the rest of the band. Wolf said, “What?”

“Let me just say we know we’re not perfect, but we’re solid now. And even though we’re not ready to do shows yet, have you noticed we get more and more people showing up for our practices?”

Pedro said, “Dude, I been countin’. Either this joint has more regulars than ever before, or people are excited to hear what we’re working on.”

Wolf simply nodded. And I, like the observer I often felt like, simply looked on to find out where this was all going.

“So we were thinking that maybe for our practice on Thursday, we could invite a few friends. Kind of do a practice run of our setlist. What do you guys think?”

Pedro said, “You already know whatIthink. What about you, Wolf man?”

Of course. Wolf. Although he wasn’t the leader of the group, he was the unspoken guide, the one we trusted to navigate us in the direction we needed to go. And he’d taken on that mantle, like it or not. Wolf asked, “Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah,” Kyle said. “I think it’s a good fucking idea. I think it’s about time.”

“We’re long overdue, dude,” Pedro chimed in. “Give this dog a fucking bone!”

Even Adrian nodded silently. And I could feel it—we were itching for validation, for just a little taste of what was to come. We’d been working hard for months and we wanted just a tiny nibble of the fruits of our labor, saving the feast for our first real show.

So I also nodded my head. It was all of us—theoldband—versus one.

The one man I was trying not to give a shit about.

The way he pondered it, I wondered if he was going to sayno, tell us we weren’t ready or that we needed to be as close to perfect before we beganinvitingpeople.

But he surprised us all when he simply said, “Okay.”

Pedro and Adrian both shouted several enthusiastic affirmations while high-fiving each other. Then Pedro said, “Fuck, yeah!”

“I’d urge caution, though, guys. A couple of friends could get out of hand and become a full house quickly.”

“Would that be a problem?” Kyle asked.

“Only if you don’t want a full house during our first real show.”