Page 151 of Verses

But it wasn’t like I couldsaythat.

So I just said, “Okay.”

As he pulled into the gravel parking lot at our building, he stole a quick look at me. “That doesn’tsoundokay.”

How the hell had I said it? Or had he actually been able to observe what I’d suspected—that things between me and Wolf had been cooling off?

“No, they are.” I got out of the car, hoping that outside in the dark would mask anything my face might give away.

As we began walking to the entryway at the front of the building, Kyle said, “Cool. I just…I know we had a long and rocky time together, but I still care about what happens to you, Hayl. We’ll always be friends—and I want you to know that.” Drapinghis arm over my shoulders, he squeezed as if to emphasize his words. When he got to the door, he held it open for me and we walked up the stairs together.

I managed to say, “Thanks.” But, as we took each stair in silence, my brain started to question everything that had happened over the past few months.

Had I made a huge fucking mistake?

Despite my misgivings,Wolf and I did spend Sunday together to celebrate a late Valentine’s Day. As he drove us to Silver City, I asked, “Where are we going?”

“Rocky Mountain Steakhouse.”

I’d never been there before. “Are their steaks as good as yours?”

“I don’t go there for the steak. They’re the only place in Silver City that serves seafood.”

Oh…so I was in for a treat. But we didn’t say anything else during the short drive, so I just listened to the music playing on the radio.

The restaurant was probably the nicest one I’d ever been to, with tables covered in linen, candles on the table, soft classical music floating overhead. Wolf held my chair for me when I sat down, and I wondered if I should have worn a dress like all the other women in the restaurant.

Love was in the air—I could feel it.

Well…I could feel itaroundme. Things between my date and me still seemed…different.

Because I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing, I ordered the same thing Wolf did, down to the glass of wine.

“Have you been working on any new songs?” I asked him as I took a sip of the wine, hoping that starting with a neutral subject would make things feel comfortable.

“Not over the past couple of weeks.”

“Are you, um…” Jesus. I didn’t even know how to ask—orwhatI wanted to ask—because what I really wanted to know wasn’t something he’d wanted to talk about.

“I’m just working through a few things in my head. I’ll get back to it soon enough.”

That was what worried me…him being inside his head so much.

Still, I pressed on. “I wrote a couple of new songs. Uh, lyrics. And I’ve been working on learning music using the sites you showed me. But I’m confused about half notes versus whole notes…and quarter notes. What’s the difference?”

“It has to do with how long you hold the note.”

The waiter brought the appetizer Wolf had ordered to our table, but it was just bacon. At least, that was all it seemed to me. I ate a piece, but I was starting to lose my appetite.

“Anyway, one of the songs I wrote, I kind of have a tune in mind. I recorded it on my phone, but I don’t have any idea how to write the music. I’m trying, but I’ll probably need some help. I mean…like I think I start out in D, but I’m not sure.”

“Keep studying. It won’t all make sense at once, but if you keep at it, there’ll be a day where it all clicks into place.”

I didn’t have his confidence—and his answers felt distant, obligatory, like he’d rather be anywhere else. “Are you blowing me off?”

“No. I want you to put in the work. It will come to you.”

He could say what he wanted…but hewasblowing me off. So I let him eat his fucking bacon without saying another word. As the soft music played on overhead, I couldn’t help but notice the couple next to us—they were probably seniors in high school orslightly older and I imagined the young man had rich parents. There was no way I could have afforded a place like this at that age.

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