Page 148 of Verses

I hadn’t given it much thought. Really, I’d just wanted us to move back to our normal warm conversation. But I said, “Maybe.”

“The hardest part would be learning the clutch.”

“Clutch? Like a car with a manual transmission?”

“Exactly. Only you do it a little differently.”

Well, that meant learning how to drive a motorcycle was out. I’d never quite gotten the hang of driving a manual transmission car, and I had no interest in it. It was stressful and maddening, and I didn’t understand why people liked driving those stupid things. So I just nodded and took a bite of bacon. “This is really good, Wolf.”

“Glad you’re enjoying it.”

I let out a soft breath, feeling relieved that the air between us felt like it was thawing. In fact, we wound up having a nice breakfast after all, especially when I asked him to tell me all about his days in other bands.

Afterward, I insisted he let me help him clean up, and I washed the dishes while he rinsed and put everything away.

I could get used to this.

As I was draining the water, I said, “Hey, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Shoot.”

Why wasthisso hard?

“Would you mind if I brought a few things over? Like an extra toothbrush and toothpaste, stuff like that?”

Holy shit. There it was again. That blast of cold air coming off him. What the fuck was that all about?

But after he put the skillet in the drainer, he turned to me and said, “That’s fine.”

Butwasit? Or was it just me? My voice sounded meeker than I would have liked when I said, “Thanks.” At that moment, I decided not to do it after all. I’d just keep toting along my backpack—but, as I often did, I’d forgotten it the night before. It was only on my mind when I had to work the next day.

I said, “Well, uh, I guess I’ll finish getting dressed and head out so you can get to work on your bike.”

All I got was a nod, which I interpreted as exactly what he wanted.

So I nodded back, trying to smile. “Uh, do you want me to leave your shirt here or would you rather I wash it with my laundry and bring it back?”

“Up to you.” I nodded again and turned, ready to grab my shit and get the hell out of there, hoping maybe Wolf was just having a shitty fucking day and keeping it to himself. But, when I got to the dining room, he said, “Actually, you can leave it on the bed or the dresser.”

“Okay.”

I didn’t dillydally. Instead, I grabbed my things off the couch and went into his bedroom, nearly ripping his t-shirt off my frame before putting on my bra and t-shirt from last night, dropping it on his bed. Then I put on my boots and picked my panties up off the floor, shoving them in my pocket.

Drawing in a deep breath, I stood in silence in his room for just a moment, clenching my jaw. Then, forcing myself to turn, I walked back out through the hallway and into the rest of the house. Wolf was standing in the living room as if ready to push me out the front door. Removing my coat off the rack, I slipped it on. I didn’t even want to kiss him, but what if I was just reading him wrong?

I said, “See you later.” Then I gave him a kiss on the cheek and headed out the door. It wasn’t until I was driving down the road that a tear made its way down my face, and I swiped at itfuriously, reminding myself that this wasn’t the worst thing that had ever happened to me.

No matter what, I would always survive.

I choseto focus on the band. Aside from anything else in my life, music was the one thing that always kept me going.

And I tried not to think about what had transpired between Wolf and me that Sunday morning. Still, I kept reliving those moments over in my head, and it landed me in the same place every time.

What had caused Wolf’s strange behavior?

But what had I expected? Wasn’t this exactly what I deserved?

Those thoughts began to fade over the next week, because at practice, things seemed completely normal between us. And, as a band, we appeared to be leveling up, meaning we were getting better every single day—and my bandmates were getting more comfortable with improvising on occasion, trying different things to see if they liked them or not.

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