Page 137 of Verses

Once again, I held that framed graduation picture of Kyle and me and felt doubt creeping up inside me. Would Wolf become like Kyle, treating me like dirt when we couldn’t get along anymore?

But why should I expect anything different? For the longest time, I’d put up with Kyle treating me like shit because I knew in the back of my mind that that was all I deserved.

Putting all my hopes on Wolf…that was stupid. Our relationship seemed so good now, but I needed to remember I was on borrowed time. I needed to enjoy it now because this wouldn’t last.

I was foolish to expect it to.

On a Sunday afternoon in mid-January,Wolf invited us to lunch at Jack’s Café, a cute little burger place across the street from The Apothecary. I hadn’t eaten there since high school and probably wouldn’t have gone back, except Wolf had told us it was his treat.

When he’d mentioned it during our Thursday afternoon practice, Pedro had said, “Dude, I love me a burger as much as the next guy, but what’s the occasion?”

“I’d like to talk about the direction our band is going.”

None of those guys would have said no to a free meal, even if Wolf had been leaving the band. He hadn’t said anything to me about this meeting, so I was as curious as the rest of the guys. And, on Sunday, all four of us walked the few blocks there, wrapped up in coats and actually having a fun conversation about nothing.

When we got to the café, Wolf was already there, sitting at a big round table near a wall. I really wanted to sit next to him but we hadn’t talked much since the whole texting thing—and I decided to leave it alone. To keep our secret, I didn’t sit next to him. Instead, I wound up sitting between Kyle and Pedro.

Wolf said, “Glad you guys could make it.” The waiter—an old guy, possibly the guy named Jack who owned the place—took our drink order and, while we were looking at the menu, he said, “I recommend the Barbecue Bacon Double if you like a big burger.”

I did not. A cheeseburger would be more than enough.

But the guys took him up on his offer, getting fries on the side. Once we’d placed our orders, Wolf said, “Thanks for agreeing to do this. Hayley had asked me a while back when I thought we’d be ready to perform shows and I have a very definite idea, but I’m not the only person in this band. You guys graciously invited me, and I realize that my opinion might not jive with what you guys are wanting to do. So I figured we should have a meeting about that. I mean, overall, how do you guys feel like we’re doing?”

Pedro didn’t hesitate. “We’re kicking serious ass!”

Kyle and Adrian both nodded but didn’t say anything.

I simply said, “I agree. I think we’re on track.”

Wolf said, “I do too. And you could argue that we’re already in a position to perform live. I think if push came to shove, we could do it. Would we feel totally prepared? Not necessarily. But maybe that doesn’t matter.”

Pedro took a swig of his drink. “I agree with you. I remember some of the shows we did before. We’d be backstage and I’d be thinking, ‘No fucking way.’ But, dude, as soon as I got onstage and I knew the audience was depending on me to give them an enjoyable experience, I pulled that shit out of my ass and did just fine.”

“That happens.”

Kyle asked, “So what are you thinking, Wolf?”

“Well, we just have a couple more cover songs to master like we agreed on, and we’ve been getting those down pretty well. Then, if we decide we want to incorporate any of those into the setlist, we’ll want to focus on those particular ones—but that’s not why I wanted us learning those songs. I hope you guys found that it sparked your creativity and helped sharpen your skills. You know, sometimes when you have to figure out how to do something you don’t normally do, you stretch yourself. And I’d like to think that worked.”

Adrian said, “I know my drum playing is more fluid than it’s ever been because of that.”

Wolf barely smiled, but that didn’t stop him from looking like a wise sage with his mentors. “Good.”

Kyle nodded, setting down his glass. “Yeah, I actually feel a little more confident with how I’m playing. I still don’t think I can write anything but…”

“That’s okay. That will come to you in time. I think one day you’re going to wake up and be completely inspired. I have faith in you.”

“I’m glad somebody does.”

Pedro frowned at Kyle but let it pass.

Wolf continued. “The main thing is we need a goal, and I think it should be to have ten to twelve new songs. But not just any songs. Ones we feel really good about, ones that make us proud and reflect who we think we are as a band. We’ll also want to pick a few out of the old catalog and get really good at them so we feel like we could play them in our sleep.”

Pedro asked, “What about recording a CD?”

“This is just my opinion, but that might be premature. It costs a lot of money up front, money we don’t have—and wehaven’t tested out anything on our audiences yet. That might be something we look at down the line, though.”

“That’s cool.”

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