Page 53 of Totally Off Limits

Glancing down at her hands for a minute, she tried not to drudge up all the feelings of inadequacy and shame she’d experienced over the years—most especially since becoming pregnant. “My parents—mymother—want our family to appear perfect to anyone who happens to know us. Perfect grades in school, perfect teeth, hair, the right clothes, everything. So when I found out I was pregnant, I debated for a while about what to do—and I finally had to tell my parents. I think if they could have shipped me off to a nunnery, they would have.”

Her joke fell flat—or maybe it was because Mickey truly cared. “But by now, haven’t they gotten over it? I mean, you make it sound like they spoil Mia rotten. And that tells me they love her.”

“Yeah, you’re right there. It’s like she’s erased a lot of my sins.”

“Sins?Maybe it’s because you’re too close to it, Sierra, but if they love and care for Mia, they can’t be all that angry with you.”

“They’re not. It’s more a, um…passive-aggressive thing. Like I’m constantly under a microscope. And I’m steered all the time, like I can’t guide my own life.”

“Maybe some—but from where I stand, your life looks pretty sweet. You’re living in your own place—nice digs, by the way.” Sierra’s brain flashed back to their night of passion that resulted in her pregnancy. Mickey’s apartment had been nothing less than a hole—so he definitely knew how bad it could be. Rubbing his hand over his short beard, he continued. “You’re working and going to school. Did your parents demand you become a nurse?”

“Actually, no. That was a bit of rebellion on my part.”

Mickey simply raised his eyebrows as if to underscore the point he’d been trying to make all along. For a bit, they simply looked at each other, long enough that Sierra started to feel uncomfortable. Not because she wasn’t at ease around him, but because she feared him discovering the truth—that she wasn’t wanting anything permanent with him, that another man was waiting in the wings, that he had a daughter. While part of her felt so free with Mickey, like she could tell him anything, it was actually the exact opposite.

She had far too many secrets to hide.

Before she could make up an excuse to look away, he said, “What happened to Mia’s dad? Is he around?”

Swallowing, Sierra tried to grab for a quick lie, and as she shifted her eyes to her daughter, she found the child slumped on the floor next to the doll playset. “Oh, no. Poor baby. I told you she was sleepy.” Jumping up, Sierra hoped the relief at being able to avoid Mickey’s queries wasn’t obvious on her face, but she was grateful that she had a task to focus on. “Let me put her to bed. Be back in a minute.” Scooping her child up into her arms, she relished the girl’s heaviness against her chest, confirming to Sierra that Mia was giving in to sweet sleep.

“Need any help?”

“No. Thanks, though.” As she pushed the gate aside at the foot of the stairs with one hand, she added, “I’m used to it. Help yourself to something else to drink. I’ll be right back.”

As she took the stairs up to the second floor, she prayed hard that Mickey wouldn’t pursue the same line of questioning when she came back down—because she was starting to wonder if she’d be able to resist telling the truth any longer…

CHAPTER19

When Sierra came back down the stairs, she left the lower gate open. Mickey still sat on the sofa, but his bass guitar was back on his lap as he strummed some tune too low for Sierra to hear. He looked absolutely gorgeous and perfect in the soft light, almost like an angel. Remembering just how good he was with her daughter made Sierra fall…

No.There was no falling here.

It made herappreciateher old friend.

As she approached the couch, she strained to hear the tune he was playing, but it was unrecognizable, and she realized her ignorance offered an opportunity for her to steer the conversation. “What are you playing?”

“Just a bass line for a new song we’re putting together for the next album.”

“Nice. Have you already recorded it?”

“Nope. We’re gonna be doing that in July—so I want to make sure I’m ready.”

“What’s it called?”

Mickey stood up and walked over to where he had his case and opened the latches. As he placed the bass inside, he asked, “The album or the song?”

“The song.”

“I actually don’t know yet. Johnny’s writing the lyrics—but me and the guys have been calling itNumber Four. Next week we’ll be practicing together and hear the words for the first time.”

“So what’s the name of the album?”

The way Mickey grinned through his facial hair made him look so adorable—and it flew her back through the years to the time she’d first found him attractive. Sure, Mickey had always beencutein her eyes, but she hadn’t looked upon him with lust until the night they’d run into each other in a bar on Main Street. They hadn’t seen each other since high school—and grown-up Mickey had exuded confidence mixed with a don’t-give-a-shit attitude that had gotten her attention. But it was the sweetness underneath that had sealed the deal. What was it about this man that made her loin and brains lust for him when that was the last thing she should be thinking about?

Mickey’s words cut through her thoughts. “I don’t know yet.”

“Then why’d you ask?” Sierra asked, moving next to him on the sofa.

---