Page 35 of Totally Off Limits

“As the oldest, though, I’ve just figured that it’s been my responsibility to figure out how to do what I’m supposed to do while still living and enjoying my own life.”

“I don’t want to judge, Austin, but from here, it sure looks like you’re toeing the family line.”

“That means I’m doing a good job.”

Now it was Sierra’s turn to laugh. In the dim light, she searched his eyes before speaking again. “Okay, so tell me how you’re rebelling—or whatever it is you’re doing.”

With a smile, Austin set his bottle down. “You might not remember, but I was supposed to get an MBA when I went to Harvard. My whole family thought I would be better prepared to run the mine if I had a business degree, because the whole idea was to pass it down to me and my sister once my father retired. Since then, my sister attended school at Berkeley and wound up getting married to a guy who works for a software company in Silicon Valley. He’s getting ready to assume the role of CEO, and he’ll be thirty by then if he’s lucky—meaning my sister will never want for anything.

“But that also means she, too, isn’t doing what the family wants. She’ll still have shares in the mine, but now it all falls on my shoulders.”

“Which makes my point, Austin. You’re there being the good sondoing what they expect.”

“Not really. My parents wanted me to major in Business. And, being the good son, I declared my major in business, even though the idea bored the crap out of me. Still, I figured it would only be five or six years and then I’d come home and start working. But all it took for me to confirm that I really didn’t want to go that route was an accounting class followed by an Intro to Business Class—and I realized I’d rather labor deep in the mines than in the offices if a business degree was what I needed.

“So what did I do? I asked myself what I really found interesting, what made me sit up and pay attention, lose track of time. What engaged me? And I thought back to high school. I don’t know if it was the same when you took it, but when I took Government my senior year, we did a lot of simulations—I don’t know if it was to make a bigger impression or to keep us more engaged than the average class.”

“Yeah, they had us do that, too. Where half of the class was the House of Representatives and the other half was the Senate.”

“Exactly.” Austin took a quick swig of beer. “Did you guys do a mock trial?”

“Yeah. That was a good class, now that you mention it.”

“It was—and that made me wonder at first if that was why I enjoyed the mock trial so much but as I examined it, I realized it was more than that. I got to play the defense lawyer and I probably took it way too seriously, but I won the case. And as I really analyzed my high school years, the only thing I really enjoyed, other than playing football and basketball, was that stupid trial. So near the end of my freshman year at Harvard, I decided I wanted to be a lawyer. And I started taking classes in pre law, not changing my major at first, just to make sure.”

“When were you sure?”

“After the first class.”

Sierra took a big swig of beer, ready to challenge him, because Austin’s situation still couldn’t compare to hers. But who was she to judge? She’d never walked in his shoes. So she decided to keep her mouth shut.

“It wasn’t until my senior year that I told my family what I was doing. I waited until I had a plan. When I finally told them, I explained that I could still run the mine with a law degree. At first, they were angry, like I’d betrayed them—but they eventually accepted it. And here I am.”

Yep. Definitely not like a mother who was not only judge, jury, and executioner but also the legislature, making up impossible rules.

But Austin wasn’t about to let her get stuck in her own head. “And that’s my point—you have to be your own person. You have to live your life for you. And if your family truly loves you, they will accept you for who you are.”

Sierra would never say it out loud, but she took a long draw on her beer as she pondered it. Without a doubt, she knew that she would be ostracized if she openly dated Mickey. She would no longer be part of the Hayden family if she stopped toeing the line. Sure, she got away with a lot of rebellious activity, but completely embracing who she really wanted to be would make her dead to her mother. If she truly followed her heart, she would be cut off—and that was the main reason why she was making sure she could be completely self-reliant when she finally broke free.

But she didn’t want to unload allthatshit on Austin. “I guess.”

Austin might not have seen her in years, but he was no dummy. He knew a blow-off answer when he heard it. “Is nursing what you want to do, Sierra? Is it something that lights your fire?”

Sierra tried to analyze how she’d come to the decision in the past. It wasn’t something she’d been pushed into; she’d started on that path before becoming pregnant and, looking back, she remembered all the reasons why. “I decided to become a nurse because I always wanted to help people. Not going to college was never an option. I think my dad would kind of liked to see one of us go into education, but I think that’s on the triplets. I chose nursing pretty early on and Layne is majoring in physics.”

“I remember your dad mentioning that. What does he plan to ultimately do with that degree?”

“I have no idea.” And she gave zero shits. “My parents are proud of him just the same and I think they’re okay with my direction. After all, healthcare is a respectable profession.”

“It sure is.”

“And my sisters are looking at…fashion? Interior design? Getting married? All of the above? And yet there’s me…andI’mthe fucking disappointment.”

Oh, shit. She’d let too much slip.

“Sorry.” Taking another swig, she emptied the bottle.

“Don’t be. It’s easy to get emotional about family stuff. And you don’t need me to tell you you’ve already forged your own path. I can see that.”

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