Page 31 of In a Haze

“Maybe,” I say, not wanting to admit it. I think he’s finding it a little exciting not knowing for sure.

Does that make us sick? Crazy?

I can feel how he’s grown hard, and recognizing the sensation of what I know is his cock tells me I have most definitely had sex before. This is an all too familiar feeling. Without conscious thought, my pelvis tilts toward him, but I don’t know if he can sense it.

This time when he kisses me, his mouth is pressing hard into mine, crushing my lips, bruising the soft flesh again my teeth—but, unlike Bobbi’s strange possessive fury earlier in the day, Joe seems in control.

In charge.

Suddenly, I remember Joe telling her that I belonged to him.She’s mineis the exact phrase he used, as if I belong to him. Maybe that should upset me that his words have objectified me, made me a possession to be grappled over, but I don’t take it that way. Instead, it makes me feel valued, cherished, knowing that Joe would do anything to protect me, to keep me safe.

As his lips crush mine and his tongue dominates me, I suddenly feel so wet between my legs that I wonder if I’ve peed myself—but as I give into him, I realize that that, too, is natural.

It’s just like the first time for me.

Pushing my lips into his, I hope he understands that means I don’t want him to stop. As he moves his lips to my neck again, I hear how my breath is almost like panting, like I’ve been running. He releases my left hand, allowing his fingers to drift down my side, and I bring my free hand, tingling as the blood begins flowing through it again, to his cheek, and his whiskers poke my fingers.

But I think he knows that I want him, all of him, just as I think he wants me.

I feel his fingers as they make their way toward my waist, but then he lifts the hem of my shirt, sliding his hand up the smooth flesh of my belly. I suck in a breath then as desire grips my brain. I want nothing more than to have this man to touch me all over, satisfy needs in me I don’t even know exist. As if reading my mind, his fingers glance over my taut nipple, grazing it, and a tiny whimper forms in my throat as he licks my neck.

Then his lips make a trail along my jawline as his hand drifts back down my side, leaving me aching for more. But my thighs clench when his fingers instead pull the waistband of my sweatpants back enough for him to shove his hand inside. By now, the area between my legs is throbbing, pulsing to the beat of my heart, yearning for something.

For him.

He must know this, because he slides a finger down the slickness of my slit to find the exact spot begging for his touch. In my ear, he whispers, “Ah, youdolike this.”

“Yes,” I breathe, barely able to get the words out of my mouth. I realize my toes are bent, clenching against the cool tile floor and my shoulder is digging into the wall, but those are minor distractions.

That finger of his—that has most of my attention, and he begins swirling it, slowly at first as I gasp at the new sensations rocking my brain. I adjust my pelvis and leg a little more so he can touch me even better, and I push my back against the wall to counter his pressure. A soft grunt escapes my throat involuntarily, and part of me wishes he’d kiss me again.

But the rest of me knows it would be mere distraction at this point.

Now I’m grinding myself into his finger to the beat of my heart, a tiny gyration that makes the sensation feel even better. “That’s it, baby,” he says, the sound of his voice like music to my ears. He presses into me again, his finger still working its magic, and he begins peppering my neck with tiny kisses. The additional stimulation is almost too much for me to bear, and I gasp again.

Now I focus all my attention on that one spot as my breathing quickens. Sure, it continues to feel amazing, but I can tell something’s about to happen. I’m on the verge of something spectacular, and I swallow before taking in another deep breath. Joe keeps moving that finger, slow and steady, and I pull another gulp of air into my lungs as a switch seems to flip in my brain.

“Ohhhhhh…” There is no helping the sound that comes out of my mouth as my thighs begin to quiver against his finger. His leg is keeping them from closing together like they’re trying to do as I’m hit with a wave of pleasure unlike anything I can remember experiencing before.

Joe finally lets go of my other hand and presses his free one over my mouth to stifle my moans of satisfaction but it’s harder for me to pull more air in through my nose. Somehow, even that makes the entire experience hotter.

He doesn’t remove his finger until I’m completely spent, all the tension removed from my muscles, and I can barely hold myself up. His hard-on is still pressing into me, and I know he, too, will need some sort of release. “Are you ready for me?” My mind is trying to translate and I figure out he wants to be inside me, the most natural thing I can think of. Before I can respond, he says, “Or is there something else you’d rather I do?”

“No, I want you inside me.” I’m still throbbing, desiring him, and I don’t know how I won’t want him now, night after night.

“Jesus, I’m glad you said that. I want to feel you wrapped around me like a glove.” Pulling down his pants, he says, “Do you want to feel me first—with your hands?”

Absolutely, I do. If I’ve felt a man’s erection with my fingers, I don’t remember it. No longer am I shy. I say, “Yes,” but my hands are already in motion, and I feel its length. I know the bumpy ridges I feel along the shaft are veins engorged with blood, a sign that he wants me, too—and it’s then that an image fills my mind, one where I get on my knees and suck down on someone’s hard cock.

But that image flies away as Joe lets out a long sigh. “Fuck.” Lifting me up, he says, “Guide me inside you, baby.”

There’s no wondering how to do it. I just know somehow, and as I spread my legs to wrap around him, I point his cock in the right direction and meet him, swallowing him into me. I gasp as I’m hit with the force of his cock pounding into me, and before I can fully register what’s happening, my thighs begin quivering again, new waves of pleasure roiling through my brain. This time, I press my mouth into his shoulder to stop any noises that want to escape as I enjoy what he’s doing to me.

Soon, he lets out a soft groan as he releases himself inside me.

Inside my head, I think,we are one now.

For several long seconds, we don’t move. He stays inside me, and the only sounds I can hear are the two of us breathing and the beating of my heart. It seems so quiet in here now, and that makes me worry.

---