Page 20 of In a Haze

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Even during the game?”

“Yeah.”

“So why do they bring them in here?”

“Maybe because they still appreciate being around people? Hell if I know.”

“B-14.” The tech at the front of the room yells into the mike so hard it hurts my ears. There’s feedback as she moves it to roll the wire basket before dropping another ball. “Oopsie,” she says. “B-14.”

“So tell me about life outside of here, Joe. What are some cool things I need to see?”

“Ever seen the Grand Canyon?” I just stare at him and he says, “Oh, yeah. You wouldn’t know. I recommend it. There are few things in life I would call breathtaking, but that’s one of them.”

“Thanks. I’ll remember that.”

“Maybe we could go there together someday. I’d love to see your face the first time you see it.”

“G-53.”

“I love that idea. What about other stuff? Like…what did you do for a living before this?” I’m not sure why that concept comes to me—but I basically just want Joe to tell me about a day in his life before he came here.

“You name it, baby. I did lots of stuff. My last gig—”

“G-53.”

He’s silent now as I wait impatiently for him to finish his sentence—and I’mstillwaiting when the tech calls the next number.

“G-46.”

Ah, I have that one, so I mark it. “What, Joe?”

“What? What was I saying?”

“Something about the last job you did or something.”

“Oh, I don’t remember. Anyway, probably the job I liked best was delivering pizzas. I was younger, but it was fun. I’d be driving around all night, cranking up the tunes in my car, running all over town. I got tips, but they also paid me minimum and some for gas. It was a pretty sweet deal.”

“G-46.”

“Sounds like it.”

“But I did all kinds of stuff—construction, driving, general labor, cable installation. I kept trying to find something I liked doing, you know? You spend most of your day working, you want it to be something you don’t hate.”

I nod, even though I can’t quite imagine it. What did I do before I came here? This place isn’t horrible, but I know there has to be so much more out in the world. I would love to try anything and everything—but I don’t want to negate Joe’s feelings, so I don’t say a word.

“O-68.”

“Bingo! Bingo, bingo, bingo,” says a woman behind me, practically singing with joy. A tech heads her way to validate her card.

“I think you’re right,” I say to him. “I can’t wait to figure out what I like.”

“I’d love to know that, too.”

“Honey, you’re missing one,” I hear the tech say behind me to the woman who thought she won. “But you forgot to mark off the free space, so let’s do that.”

The tech seems nice enough—much better than Red or that Bruce guy—but she’s super condescending. That gal doesn’t seem to mind, but the more awake I become, the less I like the way they all treat us here.