Page 88 of To Save Him

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty-nine

 

TWO DAYS LATER, I was still thinking of ways I could get Brandon’s signature.  It might take me some time, but I might be able to imitate his signature enough to pass—even not knowing how he’d signMichael.

It was a chance I was willing to take.

The biggest problem was that Brandon didn’t write much.  I knew he’d been trying to journal some, so I would have to try to find his notebook.  But I had no idea where to look. 

Before I could locate the damn thing, though, or even anything with enough of his handwriting on it for me to copy, his mood changed again.  He had only been to see Dr. Cartwright once and had another few days before his next appointment, but something was different.  I could tell.  It was Wednesday night and all four of us were present for dinner.  Annabel’s mood had also been a little lighter the past two days, and I wondered if she and Brandon had something in common…if maybe they were each other’s reason for feeling better.  It would certainly explain Brandon’s waning interest in having sex with me.

During dinner, I engaged JR in conversation, asking him about school and listening to his responses but not entirely tuned in, because I was actually observing my daughter and my lover to see if there was anything to my suspicions.

“I think I might try out for basketball, mom.  Too late for football—but maybe I could do that next year.”

That got my attention.  “I don’t know, JR.  Don’t you remember all the problems Gabe had with football?”

“It wasn’t a concussion, mom.”

“A head injury wasn’t the only problem, JR.”  And where the hell had my kid gotten the bright idea to play football?  I was ready to blame that on Brandon too but I tried to keep that thought out of my head.  He wasn’t responsible for every thought, every problem in my little family.

I’d managed to talk Gabriel into basketball when he was younger and I might be able to do that with JR, too, but not if he wouldn’t heed my words.  “You worry too much, mom.”

Did Iworry too much?  Was there even such a thing?  I wanted to tell him that I’d stop worrying about him once he left home, but I didn’t even know that that was true.  After all, I frettedmoreabout Gabriel once he was in the service—and my fears had been justified.  Better to not say anything about that, though.  “I can’t help it.  I’ve always been that way.  And I’m like that because I love you.”

JR shrugged and ate another bite of his mashed potatoes.  Brandon asked, “So what made you decide you wanted to play basketball?”

“I don’t know.  I think…it’s a guy thing to do.”

If I was reading between the lines right, JR was doing it because he worshipped Brandon and thought he’d be impressed with my son for even thinking about it.  That JR wasn’t giving any real reasons for wanting to do it, especially after not ever having much interest in sports other than baseball, confirmed it.  It was either that or there was a girl involved somehow.  Both thoughts were equally disconcerting to me.

Before I could say anything, though, Brandon said, “There are worse things you could do with your time.”

I gave Brandon a look, hoping he’d get the clue.  Basketball, yes, it wasn’t so bad, and I had no issues with sports in general, but I didn’t want the only son I had left to play tackle football.  I’d known too many boys who left high school with permanent injuries that would only get worse as they aged.  Head trauma was bad enough, a very real concern, but there were tears and breaks and surgeries that could ruin a boy’s body for life.  I did not want that for my son, especially considering he wasn’t that athletic to begin with.

JR looked at me.  “Mom, wouldn’t you want to see me runnin’ on the court?”  Then he gave me a slight smile.  “Like Gabe?”

Oh.  He’d given this subject a lot more thought than I’d initially realized.  This was more important to him than I’d known—and how could I turn him down after that?  “Of course, I would, son.  I’m proud of watching you do things you’re interested in.”

“Then it’s settled.  I’ll try out for basketball.”  My youngest raised an eyebrow.  “No football for now, okay?”

I forced a smile and hoped he could hear the love in my voice when I said, “Sounds great.”

The two males at the table started talking about free throws and zone defense and I couldn’t help but tune out.  I’d felt on edge lately and found it hard to think about much else.  My son’s sudden interest in all sports felt like something that just added to all of it.

At the end of the meal, Annabel said she had a history test to study for and JR got ready to help clean the kitchen since it was his night, but Brandon said, “You go ahead, JR.  I’ll help your mom.”

I knew then that something was up.

But Brandon was quiet at first, placing dishes in the dishwasher while I scrubbed the pots and pans.  “I think I’ve finally found an answer for your reluctance.”

I had no idea what he was talking about.  JR playing basketball?  “What do you mean?”

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