Page 72 of To Save Him

 

We’re doing a lot of top secret stuff nowadays.  Not exactly what you’d call missions, but stuff I can’t talk about.  It really does make me see how strong I am and what I can handle, but I really can’t wait for leave.  I’m not sure when I can take it, though, because we have to finish what we’re doing right now.  They said it might be a while.

Anyway, how are JR and Anna?  I miss them and I miss you.  Did I tell you I got a letter from dad?  I guess he tried calling and then found out I’m not allowed phone calls right now during this operation.  It was only one page…but he kind of apologized for everything.

Sorry this is short.  I’m tired and I was wanting to send this off so you get it before your birthday.

Love you, mom.  I hope I make you proud.

 

Gabe

 

By the time I was done reading the email, the tears were gushing again.  How quickly I’d forgotten the tense tone of his last few emails—how he’d said a lot by not saying a word.  I hadn’t remembered until now that his emails had to pass through the higher ups—whether it was an automated program or an actual human being, I’d probably never know, but I knew that from the time he’d joined the “operation” until his death, his emails and mail had to go through some sort of filtering process.  I had no idea if his emails were altered before coming to me, but I suspected Gabriel knew what he had to avoid to make his emails passable.

I spent the next hour forcing myself to open one email after another.  As I went back in time more, the emails felt a little lighter somehow—almost happy even.  It wasn’t until I heard Annabel’s car outside—or, rather, the doors on her car slamming shut—that I realized just how much time had passed, but I hadn’t gotten through all his emails.

When I closed my email program, I stood and wiped my cheeks, hoping to get into the bathroom to rinse my face before the kids came in and saw what a mess I was.  Splashing water on my face, it dawned on me that there hadn’t been one word in Gabriel’s emails about Brandon—or any person by name, for that matter.

No one.

---