Page 6 of To Save Him

“No.  I reupped once and entered the program right after that.”

I was caught up in his story and being a little nosy, but it was like I couldn’t help myself, especially after JR had continued probing.  “Theprogram?”

“Yeah.  Gabe and I were both part of it.”

“That’s what I should do when I graduate,” JR said.

The overprotective mother in me, especially the one that was still mourning her firstborn, didn’t like the idea anyway, but it was compounded by the fact that I knew Gabriel’s military service had more than a little to do with his death.  But before I could even begin to object, Brandon said, “I wouldn’t recommend it, bud.”

“Yeah, but—”

“No, really.  If I could go back and change things…”

“But you said it got you out of trouble—and you met Gabe—”

“Yes, but there were a lot of unspeakable things that happened that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.”  Brandon was quiet for a moment, starting to grab his water but simply leaving his hand on the glass.  “Actually, the first part was fine.  It was the second part that was the problem.”

We all sensed that he’d said all he was going to say on the matter, and it felt uncomfortable.  While I had nothing against silence, I didn’t want us all feeling awkward for the rest of the evening, so I changed the subject the best way I knew how.  “I didn’t make dessert, but we have ice cream in the freezer.  Anyone want some?”

JR enthusiastically said he did, but Annabel asked, “Do you care if I hang with Liam?”

“We have a guest, honey.”

“It’s okay with me,” Brandon said.  “I’ve disrupted your family enough.  In fact, I should probably get going.”

JR said, “What did you drive?  I didn’t see a car out there.”  And he would know—while we didn’t live completely removed from civilization, we were in a development that not only had wide open spaces, but each lot, including ours, had several acres.  Mel had bought the property with the inheritance he got from his grandparents’ estate, but he had also earned good money at the time—and our home was a repo.  I probably didn’t belong out there with all the upper middle class folks, but I loved it because there were no other views like it in our lovely town of Winchester.  And even though Mel had invested a lot of time and money into our home, he’d given up all rights when he’d left with his tart of a girlfriend.

I looked at Annabel and said, “Fine.  Back by ten-thirty.”  At least if she was with her boyfriend, I knew Annabel would stay out of trouble.  I’d always heard that I needed to worry if my daughter waswithher boyfriend, but she was responsible and I had to trust her.  There were far worse things in life to worry about than a little premarital hanky panky, so long as she was smart about it.

She nodded and smiled, darting out of the room after saying, “Nice to meet you.”

Brandon smiled and waved at her before returning his attention to my son.  “I don’t have a car.  I walked here.”

“Youwalked?” JR asked.

“Yeah.  It’s not that far from downtown.”

“But how did you get to Winchester in the first place if you don’t have a car?”

My youngest was horrifying me with his innate nosiness.  “JR, did you ever stop to think it’s none of our business?”

“No, that’s okay,” Brandon offered quietly.  “He’s just curious.”  Then he looked at my son again.  “I walk.  A lot.”  He paused, glancing at me, and said, “I might as well tell you what’s happened since I left the service.  For several months after I was discharged,” he began, looking down at the rim of his glass, “I was in a…hospital.  What we went through in the project took its toll, and I wasn’t well.”  I tried to imagine what he might have gone through but knew that I might not want to envision it, for chances were Gabriel went through it too.  “When I was somewhat better, they let me out, but I have no family anymore—maybe distant cousins somewhere—but no home to return to.  No life, no job, no family.  So I asked myself what I wanted to do since deciding not to make a career out of the military.  I took what few possessions I had and put them in a backpack and started walking.”  He could see the questions in JR’s eyes.  “It’s on your porch and I’ll take it with me when I go.  Now that the weather’s milder, I can find a park bench to sleep on, but most places have shelters where people can stay a night or two, and there are still kind strangers who’ll give you a ride or…make you a hot meal.”  He sat up and I could feel his energy—it was powerful and steady.  “And, for that, I thank you.  I’ve most definitely overstayed my welcome, but I can help clean up before I leave.”

There was a sadness about Brandon that touched my heart.  I could sense that he had so much more to say, but the words couldn’t find a way out.  Maybe he needed time, but there was also a chance that those words would be forever buried inside him.

“Brandon, I haven’t been a Christian woman since the day I learned of my son’s death, but it wouldn’t be very Christianorcivil of me to turn you away after dark.”  I took a deep breath and saw him mustering up an argument, but I began speaking again before he could protest.  “Ordinarily, I’d have a guest stay in the extra bedroom, but—if you’d be okay with it—I’d imagine Gabriel would like to have you stay in his room.  It’s…been unoccupied for a very long time.”

There was a long pause until JR clamored, “Please?”

Brandon’s struggle was evident in his eyes but he said, “That’s very kind of you.  I’d…appreciate it more than you know.”

His soul had spoken to me that night.  It was the night I fell in love with Brandon Abbott.

 

* * *

 

HOW STRANGE IT was that evening.  I would have thought sleep would come easily, knowing that Gabriel’s long-empty bed was now occupied by a man who had likely felt to my son like another brother.

Those notions didn’t give me as much peace of mind as I would have thought, though.  Instead, I considered what seemed to be Brandon’s plight—he’d mentioned “unspeakable things” happening to him during his stint in the Marines, which was bad enough…but then to end it all with an extended stay in the hospital with no loved ones or friends nearby, no home to go back to, no job—nothing.  My soul already ached for this young man, and I admired his heart.

I wanted to help him.

I’d never had much of an opinion about May-December romances, because I always figured you couldn’t help who you fell in love with.  As long as both adults were consenting, who was I to judge?  So, as I drifted off to sleep, finally sometime after two AM, I began to have some less-than-motherly thoughts about Brandon, but I knew I’d be able to let those crazy feelings go once he left.  In spite of the fact that part of me wanted to help him, it would be best if I let him leave tomorrow after breakfast…and, afterward, I could return to my day-to-day existence, where my love life was nothing more than the characters I wrote.

After all, it was safer that way.

 

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