Page 52 of To Save Him

 

 

 

Chapter Seventeen

 

THE KIDS GOT home around their usual time, and I felt a need to be more motherly than usual.  The guilt I’d been feeling about Brandon now amplified theusualguilt I felt as my kids’ mother, and so I wanted to do extra for them.  The third batch of chocolate chip cookies was ready to pull out of the oven when they came through the door.

JR bounded into the kitchen, dropping his backpack next to the table.  “Holy shit, mom.  That smells awesome.”

I turned from the oven, my eyebrows raised.  “What did you just say?”

“Er, um, I meancrap.”

“That’s what I thought you said.”  I opened the oven door, pulling out one of the hot cookie sheets.  “You can haveonefor now and then another when you’re done with your homework.”

“Aw.”

“Go wash your hands first.”

Annabel peeked her head just inside the doorway.  “I gotta be to work in a bit, mom.”  She glanced over to see me sliding cookies off the sheet with a spatula in my hand.  “Can I have a cookie for the road?”

“Of course, honey.  What about dinner?”

She shrugged.  “I’ll just get a burrito during my break.”

“What time will you be home?”

“I get off at eight but I was gonna hang with Liam for a little.  By ten okay?”

“That’s fine, honey.”  I didn’t want my daughter to feel like I was keeping her from her boyfriend, although I knew that was exactly what her father would had liked.  She kissed me on the cheek and grabbed another cookie, giggling as she ran out of the room and up the stairs.  I sat at the table across from JR and asked, “What all do you have to do?”

“Just my usual favorite:  math.  But guess what cool thing we’re doing in language arts?”

Oh, this should be good.  I’d long ago mourned the fact that none of my kids had fallen in love with writing like I had in my youth, a passion that had grown and consumed me later in life.  Gabriel had had a bit of mechanical inclinations in him, but he was my athlete.  Annabel liked being pretty and her dream was to do something in the fashion industry.  The jury was still out on JR, but I imagined him doing something techie, mainly because of his fascination with computers and videogames.  “What’s that, son?”

“We’re putting together a class blog.  The teacher already signed us all in and we all have a list of possible topics.  Our job is to pick a topic, do some online research, and then put together a report—all on the blog.  Cool, huh?”

“Yeah, very cool.”  No way was I going to tell him I was impressed with his teacher for finding a way to make writing fun and exciting for the kids in his class—and to find a way to tap into my son’s interests so that it wouldn’t feel like work or learning to him.  Bravo to him.  It was a shame I wouldn’t be able to tell him that in person—but he likely already knew it was going to be successful.  He didn’t need me to tell him that.

“So I’m gonna go to my room and work on that once I’m done with math if that’s okay.”

“Of course.  And I’ll let you have another cookie before you do that.”

Before heading to his room, he let me know about his next softball game.  I hadn’t known what to expect when he’d made the team, but I hadn’t realized that the only team they played against was the other middle school in town.  It made sense, though.  Our town was too far from other schools and it wasn’t like high school where it all culminated in a big tournament at the end.  Right now, it was still just for fun and for improving their skills—but one game a week made their short after-school practices feel warranted.

A minute later, Annabel ran back down the stairs and yelled, “See you later,” before bounding out the door.  I decided to start looking in the fridge and cabinets to figure out what to make for dinner.  When the door opened again a couple of minutes later, I just assumed it was Annabel, having forgotten something she needed to take with her.

But it was Brandon.

I hadn’t expected his effect on me to be more potent now and yet it was.  I almost felt like the wind had been pushed out of me, and I hadn’t caught my breath by the time he was talking through his grin.  “I’m gonna do some more work in the backyard if that’s okay.”

“Yeah.  I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”  But I was uninspired for meal ideas.  Brandon had changed clothes and headed back out the front door while I was still staring at boxes and cans of food.  I saw him through one of the kitchen windows walking toward the backyard from the front.

What was he up to?

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