Page 34 of To Save Him

 

 

 

Chapter Eleven

 

BREAKFAST COULD BE exhausting some days, but I hadn’t had one like that in a long time, not since Annabel had started working and acting more like an adult.  My kids were still kids, though, and I needed an occasional reminder of that sometimes.

It started with Annabel.  No need to pull punches—I had to get right to the point.  “What was Liam doing in your room last night?”

I saw her flush a little, but she deflected it with anger.  “He was just congratulating me, mom.”

I was going to take a chance, shooting in the dark, but I needed to know.  “With his pants unzipped?”  She blinked rapidly then and, as I suspected, she didn’t deny it.  Through her eyes, I could see her mind racing, but she wasn’t going to tell me she and Liam weren’t doing anything.  “Are you being smart at least?  Using protection?”

She rolled her eyes.  “Oh, God. Yes, mom.”

I nodded.  “Okay.”  She acted like she was going to bolt from the table.  Bottom line…Annabelwasseventeen (not eighteen, even though she’d tested her dad on that point the night before and he’d failed miserably) and I remembered what it was like at that age.  I’d been a sheltered girl, protected from penises and pot and other sundry sins, but all that had made me do was seek them out when I left my parents’ house years later.  As far as my own daughter was concerned, I knew it would happen anyway, so I wanted to instead make sure my kids were smart about it.  I’d done the same with Gabriel years earlier, and my daughter was going to be no different.  As long as she was continuing to be smart about it, I wasn’t going to beat it into the ground.  I did have another question, though.  “How did he get in here without us seeing?”  I imagined the boy scaling the wall à la Spiderman.

“Through the front door like normal people.”

“Oh.”  How had I missed it?  I took a sip of my coffee before broaching the next subject, something Annabel was likely to be even touchier about.  “Your dad wants to take you and JR to dinner tonight.”

“Seriously?”

Good—not as annoyed as I’d expected.  “Yes.  He wants to pick you up sometime after school so he can spend a little time with you.”

The look on Annabel’s face of incredulity was easily trumped by JR’s vocal reaction behind me.  “What?  That douche wasn’t happy enough waking us up?  Now we have to waste a few hours today with him?”

“Son…it’s his right as your father.  And at least he’s trying.”

“Those are valuable gaming hours I won’t get back.”

“You see your dad twice a year if you’re lucky.  Those times with your dad are times you’ll never get back.”  JR rolled his eyes while grabbing a bowl out of the cabinet, but I could tell he was listening and absorbing.  “Guys, look.  I know your dad hasn’t been the greatest lately, but he loves you, and he’s the only dad you’ve got.  Take the moments he offers to you, because it means he still cares.”  I had no idea what the hell was wrong with my ex and I really didn’t blame my kids for not wanting to visit when the guy got a hair up his ass and decided to inconvenience their lives with a lack of planning and coordination, but I could hope against hope that maybe this one time they’d make a new connection.

I kept hoping my ex would pull his head out of his ass.

He’d been a good dad at one time.  I knew because I’d seen it firsthand.  And I thought that was why I and my children felt so much anger for the man.  It was like he’d been possessed by some apathetic asshole who didn’t have a single care in the world except his own selfish pleasure.

JR refrained from slamming his bowl on the table, but it didn’t stop him from manhandling the box of cereal he brought with him.  “Fine.  But you owe me.”

Annabel scoffed.  “Hah.  If you think I’ll go alone, you’re crazy.  So if you’re gonna bribe mom, then I want in on the action.”

I raised an eyebrow.  “I believe the concept you’re both looking for isextortion.  And…how about I continue feeding you?  Would you like that?”  Oh…my words sounded a little harsh and over the top, even to my own ears.  I knew it was because my kids weren’t kidding and I felt bad that they had to go but I also felt bad for Mel on some weird level.  It was just a shitty situation all the way around, made worse by the fact that Mel thought he could make the kids play into his game to be a father whenever he felt like it, and we kind of had to pander to him.  I almost backed out at that moment and told the kids to never mind…but I didn’t have a current cell phone number for Mel—and I wanted to give him this one last chance, rational or not.  JR poured milk on the cereal in his bowl and Annabel wiped her fingers on a napkin.  “Look, guys, this isn’t my ideal scenario, either.  Itisrude of your dad to come here and demand that you put your lives on pause for a little bit so he can see you.  But he’s here, which is more than he’s been in a while.  Your dad hasn’t had the benefit of family to mourn and he probably doesn’t know how to talk to you about Gabriel—or about anything, for that matter.  He’s been so disconnected from you for so long, he probably doesn’t even remember how to act like your dad.  So let’s…give him a chance, okay?”

Slowly, both my kids nodded their heads in resignation.  God, they were good kids, and they made me proud to be their mother.  I just wished Mel would get his fucking head on straight.  Most of their reluctance, I was sure, had to do with the fact that they’d felt as rejected by Mel as I had—and who wants to spend time with someone when you knew you were their second pick?  “And I’ll take you out to dinnerwith methis weekend—you decide where.  That’smyway of sayingthank youfor being good sports and good kids.”

“Ooh!  Red Lobster!”  JR was already envisioning surf and turf.

“I don’t want to go to Colorado Springs just to eat dinner.  Can’t we just pick somewhere here?”

My son scowled.  “Weneverget to go there, Annabel.  This is our shot.”

“Can Liam come?”

“Maybe.”

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