Page 33 of To Save Him

Mel growled.  “Goddammit, Kim.”

JR ran out of his room and stood at the top of the stairs with a dumfounded look, but Annabel came running down in her tiny pink nightie.  “No, daddy!”

“We will be talking next, young lady.”

I loved how Mel had been gone for years but felt the need to lay down the parenting law when he hadn’t earned the right to use that power.  Annabel darted down the stairs, standing on the tread above her father, and I began to wonder if perhaps shedidcare about Brandon more than she should.  Then, though, Liam appeared next to JR, and the whole thing came clear to me.

Annabel’s flight down the stairs distracted Mel enough that Brandon was able to get loose, and I was afraid that he was going to unleash on my ex.  He restrained himself, though, and Mel wasn’t sure what to do.  Having his daughter in thin nightclothes that left little to the imagination had him feeling consternated, though, and he was getting ready to say something to her.  That was when he saw Liam.  “And who the hell is that?  Are you taking in every stray you can find?”

I was ready to tell him off, but Annabel fessed up.  “That’s my boyfriend, daddy, the person you’ve accused of raping me.”

“Raping?  Is that what he was doing?”

My daughter’s cheeks were flushed, her pupils enlarged with rage.  “First of all,father, I am an adult by most states’ definitions.  Second of all, what I do with my boyfriend ismybusiness.  And, third, where the hell do you get off, pretending to care?”  Mel paused, ready to speak, his finger in the air, but then he lowered it, as if his balloon had deflated.  “That’s what I thought.”  Annabel marched back up the stairs vehemently and grabbed Liam’s hand.  “Come on.”

“Uh…Liam, you need to get home now.”  I didn’t quite know how he’d gotten in her room in the first place and, yes, I was shocked by what was going on, but now was not the time.  Liam rolled his eyes, but Annabel frowned before obeying me and leading him down the stairs.  “JR, honey, why don’t you go to bed?”

My son blinked but nodded and turned around, but I also knew that the odds were just as likely that he’d lie in bed, listening to the proceedings so he could ask about them the next day.  I watched him turn toward his room before looking at Mel one last time, cold and angry.  Brandon had some strange glint in his eye and didn’t look at me, instead keeping his focus on my ex.

Once we walked through the kitchen door, Annabel shut the front door quickly and darted past us and up the stairs, having sent her boyfriend off.  That act alone seemed to cause Mel’s emotions to flare up again.  “Is this how you parent, Kim?  Letting our daughter gallivant around in filmy nightclothes with her boyfriend like a common whore?”

Ihadto keep myself calm.  All I felt for this man anymore was anger, and that in itself was concerning, because—as a writer tapping into my rawest emotions on a regular basis—I knew that could mean I still had other disguised feelings for him, and the man didn’t deserve that from me.  He certainly didn’t need to know how angry he could make me.  But this was our daughter he was talking about—and Annabel might have been a lot of things, but she wasnota whore.

I drew breath into my lungs slowly and with control, as if I were practicing yoga at that moment.  If nothing else, my daily sessions had helped me learn to use breathing to keep myself centered and focused and calm—all things I needed to do right this moment.  “My parenting skills are just fine.  I’m present, for example.”  I wasn’t going to point out the obvious, that he wasn’t, because just by excluding that fact, I felt like I was shining a light on it.  “I don’t know what was happening just now, because Annabel had said she was tired and wanted to go to bed, but I’ll talk to her about it in the morning.  This doesn’t concern you.”

“Itdoesconcern me.  If I’m going to be a grandfather, I would appreciate a heads up.”

“Oh, come on, Mel.  Don’t be melodramatic.”

He sputtered again before saying, “Maybe I should get custody of the kids.”

Like that was going to happen.  That would involve him having to give up whatever freedom he had at the moment, and I knew the man was too selfish right now to do that.  But I wasn’t going to argue with him or give him any more fuel for his tiny fire.  “What do you want, Mel?  Why are you here?”

He gritted his jaw before looking at me again, his watery blue eyes getting on my last nerve.  I could remember a time when I loved to stare into those orbs, dreaming about my future and children and growing old with this man, telling him more than once how white washis colorbecause it allowed the azure hue of his eyes to stand out.  But now they were a source of irritation, and I just wanted him the fuck out of my house.  He made some strange motions with his lips before forming his words.  “I wanted to come by and, first, congratulate my daughter on a wonderful concert.  I always forget what a beautiful voice she has until I hear her singing.”  I wasn’t going to point out that if he’d attended the winter concert, he could have heard her sing two solos and one duet in addition to all the group songs—as opposed to one solo for this show—instead keeping my mouth shut, wishing he’d get to the point.  “But I also wanted to see if the kids wanted to do something to celebrate with just their dear old dad.”

I couldn’t help the scornful tone that rushed out of my mouth before I could stop it.  “Tonight?  You know they have school tomorrow, right?”

He mumbled, fumbling for a lame answer, and finally came up with, “I don’t get to see them that often…and kind of hoped you’d make an exception.”

Oh, God…and who needed a clue when it came to parenting?  It was like he’d forgotten it all from when we’d been kids raising littler kids.  I made sure my voice was calm and quiet when I said, “Look, if you’re not driving back home tonight, why don’t you plan to spend time with the kids after school?  I don’t think Annabel works tomorrow night, and you could take the kids out to dinner.”  I could see on his face that he was getting ready to hem and haw and I didn’t want to hear it.  Either he wanted totryto be a good father—or not—but I wanted no part of it.  I’d been trying to be the best mother I could and, while I failed at it most days, I was up and making an earnest attempt every damn day.  “Let me double check the calendar to make sure nobody has anything going on tomorrow.”  I walked to the kitchen white board, still in eyeshot of my ex and my current interest and, while the two weren’t consciously sizing each other up, I could sense it in the air.  Moving away for a moment, I hoped, would deflect any of Mel’s knee-jerk responses and he’d actually have tothinkabout if he wanted to stay or not.  From past experience, I knew the chances were good that he and the new missus had recently had some passionate spat over something stupid, and he’d come crying to family number one, hoping to both recapture a feel-good sensation in addition to assuaging some guilt at never being there for his kids.

As I approached the calendar, an evil part of me hoped one or both of the kids would have something on the schedule I’d forgotten about and wouldn’t be able to spend time with their father.  But no such luck.  Damn it.

“What time can we expect you tomorrow?  The kids should be ready to go around three-thirty.”

I was calling his bluff.  If he were smart, he’d agree.

Maybe he wasn’t so stupid after all.

 

---