Page 86 of Brewing Up a Bad Boy

“You’re right. But I get why you did.”

She shook her head. “Well, you shouldn’t. I kept hammering home how I’m not the same woman now, but as soon as I heard you had a deal with Lancaster-Spencer, I was nineteen again, realizing that my dream marriage was a business deal. Only this time, it hurt so much more because I really love you. Not the idea of you, but the man you are.”

“The flawed man. That’s why you did it, Poppy, don’t blame yourself for reaping the seeds that I sowed.”

“I like your flaws. The rough edges are a big part of what I love about you. You were too smooth and perfect before,” she pointed out. There she’d said it. Told him she loved him.

“And perfect is...”

“Overrated,” she said. Hope that they could work through this, really work through it, bloomed in her heart. That fizzy feeling was back in her stomach, wrapping her in joy.

Ali strode toward her; his hair was a mess from how much he’d run his hands through it. His face was a mix of hope and something that on any other person she’d describe as trepidation. Then she chastised herself. Of course he was leery. He didn’t know what reception he was going to get from her.

She’d spent so much time protecting her own heart while basking in the warmth of the affection that he showered on her. Had she shown him how much he meant to her? Had she done enough?

This was the real pain of a broken relationship. It was so hard to leave the past where it belonged and not allow everything to merge together. There were always going to be flashbacks to the time when they weren’t the best versions of themselves. Always going to be a chance that this wouldn’t work out. Always going to be this moment when she had to really let go of and realize that maybe their marriage had just been a prelude to the people they’d become.

Became.

They were those better versions of themselves.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“Please, don’t say that.”

Oh, no. It’s too late.What if this was who they were now? Two people who couldn’t live without the other but never quite got it right when they were together. Like some sort of demented hamster wheel where they both kept hopping in and out of each other’s lives.

He was within his rights to ask for space. But she didn’t know if she could give it to him. This time, there was no pretending she didn’t love him. No telling herself that he’d fooled her. He hadn’t. He’d been honest with her about everything.

He’d bared it all. Even the stuff that he hadn’t wanted to share. Not to get her to sign a contract or to get a family tea recipe. He’d done it for her.

Oh, fuck, damn, shit.

When he needed her to see the growth he’d made, she’d given him the finger and told him they could talk later.

Why would he be open to doing anything she wanted? Why should she expect him to let her continue to dictate the terms of their relationship? She hadn’t shown him any of the respect that he’d more than earned. That he deserved.

The respect they both deserved because they were flawed adults. Not two people pretending to be some idolized couple.

Listening to Poppy take any of this on herself was unbearable. She was the woman he’d shaped her into when he’d used her that first time. The fact that she loved him—he’d heard her say it—was a miracle. One he wasn’t about to take for granted.

They needed to clear everything up. Now. “You don’t owe me any more apologies.”

“I should have—”

He put his finger over her lips. Her mouth was soft and supple under his touch. “George came to me with the offer while I guess Bronte was telling you. I was never going back to Lancaster-Spencer. I will have to return to England to close the beer barn, to honor my commitments there, but my life is going to be here with you. But only when we are both ready for it.”

“Bronte made it seem like a done deal,” Poppy said, her voice thready. “She said that you getting me to sign... I should have asked you instead of jumping to conclusions.”

“You should have. But the divorce PTSD probably had you reeling,” he said.

“It did. Except there was a part of me that didn’t accept her version of you. The man I’ve come to know... Honestly, you’d hate it in the corporate world,” she said.

“I hated it the last time too. Just took me a while to figure out there was more to life than pleasing my family,” he said.

“Like what?” she asked.

“Loving you,” he replied, pulling her into his arms. He held her tight, resting his forehead on hers. “I heard you say you love me.”

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