Page 63 of Brewing Up a Bad Boy

Her life was here.

With him? She wasn’t sure.

“Pop? You okay?” he called.

“Yeah, debating popcorn. But Pickle can’t have any. Maybe I’ll get her a treat,” she said. Like her mind was on the mundane and not this whirlwind of everything that was out of her control.

She took a deep breath.

Make tea.

Her mum’s voice was in her head.Which leaves would you choose?

It was nighttime, so something herbal. Maybe a nice blend of chamomile and strawberries. In her head, she was already blending the leaves. Then putting them in a mug.

“Poppy?”

She jumped. Ali stood behind her. “You scared me.”

“I can tell. You were miles away. It’s me, right? Want me to leave?” he asked.

Oh, it was him all right. “No. I like hanging out with you. It’s sort of giving me all the vibes I wanted when we were married, which I totally wasn’t going to bring up, because we put the past to bed.”

“Except it’s still there,” he said. “For both of us.”

“You doing okay?” she asked.

He took a deep breath and then started opening cabinets.

“What are you looking for?”

“Whiskey.”

“Above the microwave,” she said. “Is it going to be that kind of talk?”

He stopped. “Tea would be better. Alcohol is my crutch. It gives me something to do with my hands, and it takes the edge off my emotions...”

It wasn’t just her. Tonight’s sex made her want to do everything she could to protect both of them. But she wasn’t even sure she could keep herself safe. “I don’t mind if you drink.”

He shook his head, taking another deep breath. “I’m scared.”

“Scared? Of what?”

“This.” He gestured to the both of them. “Us. What if...”

“It ends again.” That was what was keeping her in the kitchen instead of on the couch being present and enjoying this moment with Ali. “I get it. I love seeing you and Pickle cuddling. I wanted to curl up next to you and just be with our...” She trailed off.

Their little family.

That was what she’d called them when her grandmother couldn’t take care of Pickle anymore and gifted her to them. A little family. But they hadn’t been.

“I’d like that. No pressure. Take your time. Just know that I’d like to be part of it.”

She chewed her lip, then realized what she was doing and stopped. “Let’s just go with it.”

“Except how can two chronic planners and a massive type A ever just follow the flow?”

“True. Maybe we’ll both have to just be there for each other. Remind the other to stay present.”

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