Page 58 of The Bookbinder's Guide to Love

Sera realized she was scared.

The safety she’d thought she’d cultivated was crumbling. She’d been proud of the way she always reminded herself that people left. Thought she was ready for all things to be temporary. But the truth was so much different. She wasn’t thinking of anything as temporary since they’d bought the shop in Birch Lake and she’d purchased her house.

She had been building something permanent. And fuck it. She’d been merrily rolling along making journals and acting like this was always going to stay the same.

Then Ford died.

And nothing had been the same since. A part of her was pretty sure it wouldn’t be again.

And she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready for this all to go away or change.

Change had always been the one sure thing in her life, but now she wasn’t ready for it.

Feeling closed in at the table, she pushed her chair back, pulling away from Wes and going to the bathroom. How many bathrooms had she escaped to over the course of her life? It was the one place in the foster homes where she could lock herself in no matter what. It was the one place she always dashed to when she felt overwhelmed by acceptance from Liberty and Poppy.

And tonight, when her world felt like it was tipping on its axis, it was a place of safety. She made it halfway down the hall before she stopped, hearing Wes following her.

She remembered their flirting earlier, but knew she wasn’t ready for sex. She didn’t want a hot screw in the hallway of the tavern because sex was starting to mean more than satisfaction with Wes.

Dammit.

“You okay?” he asked.

No. She wasn’t okay. In fact, she wasn’t sure she ever had been. And the usual facade she liked to pull into place when she felt this way wasn’t there. She’d let her guard down with Wes.

Stupid.

She’d started to think of him as more than temporary. Even though she’d mouthed the wordtemporarymore times than she could count. In her soul, she was already starting to see him in her future.

“I guess not,” he said. “Want to get out of here? Walk in the snow?”

She looked over at him. Maybe it was her own panic that had been rising for the last few minutes, but she noticed the tension around his mouth, the way he held himself.

He had been grilled by Poppy and asked for favors from Liberty. And in his own way, Wes was as much a loner as she was. This had to be strange for him too.

“Yes.”

“Great,” he said.

He held his hand out to her.

Temporary.She tried to say that in her head loudly, but then shoved that thought away. She took his hand and squeezed—for her subconscious so that bitch knew Sera was going to make her own decisions where Wes was concerned.

They walked back into the tavern and saw her friends still in a heated discussion. Sera would normally stay and be a good friend to Poppy, but she couldn’t today. She needed to get out of here. What was meant to be a fun, flirty date with Wes had turned into something more.

And Sera felt like she couldn’t breathe.

She reached for her coat and her friends looked over at her. For once she had no idea what to say.

“Sorry, I have an emergency work thing and I need Sera’s help. Poppy, I’m sorry about your ex. See everyone tomorrow,” Wes said, putting his hand on Sera’s back. A shiver of relief went through her at the way Wes had handled this. He had no idea what was going on in her head and in her soul, but he’d done the exact thing she needed. He gave her an out.

He had her back. It wasn’t the first time that had happened with someone, but it was the first time with Wes.

It could be the last time, her subconscious warned.

And Sera just ignored that. Instead, she put her coat on and they stepped out into the darkening night sky, under the glow of the lamp where he’d kissed her for the first time. She looked up at him, the snow falling lightly around them, and knew that no matter how many times she tried to tell herself she was ready, prepared for him to leave, she wasn’t.

She wanted to see a future with him.

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