Page 41 of The Bookbinder's Guide to Love

“I am. I don’t know why I never taught you boys.”

“We weren’t interested,” Oz said.

“Yeah,” Wes agreed. But he knew the real reason his dad hadn’t taught them was because he’d been working and trying to keep his shit together.

“You might have been,” his father said. “I really never took the time to see.”

Wes felt a pang near his heart hearing his dad open up like this. It was probably seeing his own father in a coffin. Or maybe it was Wes letting down his own guard and inviting his dad to share.

“You were busy working and taking care of things,” Wes said, putting into words what he’d thought earlier. It was easy to paint his dad into the villain of his childhood, but honestly, he knew his old man wasn’t a monster. He’d been doing the best he could most of the time.

He hadn’t turned to alcohol or drugs, and he hadn’t beat them—he’d just worked and then sent them to Grandpa in the summer.

“Grandpa didn’t teach us either,” Oz said. “He just made us go outside... Remember that?”

“I do. And we found that shed in the back of the house with all those tools,” Wes said.

His dad started to laugh. “He used to do the same to me. I carved my name into the workbench when I was twelve. Well, started to, and then I cut my finger and Mom freaked out and yelled at him. He said, ‘Well, now the boy knows not to do that again.’”

Wes smiled. “He said the same to us when Oz drove his bike off the picnic table trying to get epic air.”

“I did get epic air, just sprained my wrist in the process,” Oz said.

For the first time in a very long one, Wes felt like his family was healing. There were still cracks and distance that nothing could fill, but losing Grandpa had given them all a moment to share things that usually went unsaid. Wes hoped they could keep this up. Might be nice to feel like they were a family instead of three strangers who shared a bloodline.

He followed the hearse to the Sitwell plot, aware that Hamish’s and Sera’s cars were behind his. He wondered how Grandpa would have felt about the things they said today. The two of them had known different sides of his grandfather, different to what his family knew. Hamish had talked about a young Ford and the trouble they used to get up to together. The women they’d wooed and finally won and married. The way they had always been there for each other when heartache had struck. Sera’s tales of books and laughter had been just as touching. The two of them had shared their memories with everyone at the funeral.

Grandpa had always been so private. Would the stories have bothered him?

Wes didn’t know, but he’d read one time that funerals were for the living not the dead, and today he had needed to hear those stories. He wasn’t sure if it was arrogance or ego, but a part of him had imagined Ford all alone since Wes had left.

He was glad that hadn’t been the case.

“The girl who spoke, is that Sera?” his father asked.

“No. That’s her friend Poppy,” Wes said. “I’ll introduce you if you want.”

His father hadn’t come to the viewing the other night. He’d privately said his goodbyes and then gone back home. Wes was nervous about Sera meeting his dad. The old man could be a grump who spoke bluntly. This wasn’t like Oz meeting Sera because, Wes realized suddenly, he knew his twin loved him and wouldn’t do anything to hurt him.

Wes had never been sure of his father’s affection.

“Is Sera the one with the party blouse?” his dad asked.

“No. She’s the one with curly brown hair,” Wes said.

“That’s the only one left,” his dad pointed out.

“She’s coming back to the house with her friends and Hamish after,” he said.

His dad nodded. “I’ll try to behave. I’m bad at grief.”

“I don’t think anyone is good at it,” Oz said dryly.

His father almost smiled. “Your grandpa would have said the same thing. I just meant I can be an ass. So if I don’t talk to them...it’s not personal.”

Wes had never felt his dad more than at that moment. There had been times when all Wes could do was retreat to his book repair tools, sit in front of a damaged volume and work because he couldn’t be with people.

They got out and walked toward the plot as the pallbearers brought Grandpa’s coffin. Hamish stood next to Wes’s dad; Wes moved to stand next to Sera. He didn’t say anything because he wasn’t sure he had the right words.

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