Page 68 of The Bookbinder's Guide to Love

“That’s cool. I’ve seen that side of you before,” she said, putting her hand on his thigh.

“That’s right. So I started an online used bookstore and repair shop. Grandpa was still helping me get it set up. Since Dad was pissed at me for flunking out of college.”

“Did he ever get over that?”

Wes shrugged. “Who knows? We aren’t a very verbal family.”

“What did Ford do?”

“He wanted me to open a shop here in Birch Lake. Take the stock and set it up. He offered to go with me to get a business loan. And at first it sounded pretty good, but that wasn’t my dream. The more he talked about plans, the more I felt like I was losing myself in something I had been enjoying.

“So I got drunk at the tavern and when I came back to Grandpa’s he was in lecture mode—to be fair, part of the reason I’d flunked out was drinking and partying too much—and I just said I didn’t care what he thought, because drunk me is an even bigger asshole than you’ve met. Told him to fuck off and that I was leaving in the morning.”

Sera hadn’t been expecting that. There was a lot to unpack. Losing oneself in trying to meet the expectations of another person. That had happened to her more than once.

But the other part...telling Ford to f-off.

“And did you?”

“Uh, well, I was really hungover when I woke up. And when I went downstairs Grandpa wasn’t there, just a note on the kitchen table telling me he wished me luck, he’d be back by five and assumed I’d be gone.”

Wes reached up to rub the back of his neck. Of course he was tense. This was one of the worst things she’d ever heard. Neither of them had acted their best.

“Did you leave before he returned?”

“Hell yes. I packed my car and drove out of Birch Lake and never looked back. Grandpa didn’t get in contact until that email two weeks before he died.”

She was frustrated that these two men she cared about had been unable to resolve this before Ford’s death. They were both hurt by the estrangement and neither of them had been willing to put aside their pride... Well, Ford had, but he’d left it too late.

“You were both idiots.”

“What?”

“You threw away your family for pride. Not just you—Ford did it too. And you were right not to let him force you into being someone you aren’t. But to just say deuces and walk away...that’s not what family is.”

Wes turned his head and gave her a long level stare. The kind she hadn’t seen since that first day in her shop. She had a feeling he wanted her to stop talking about this, but Liberty’s tarot reading said to resolve the past. Both of them had to do that if they were going to be a strong couple.

That was her goal.

She held up her hand. “What does the orphan know about families, right?”

He flattened his mouth but didn’t say anything. “I wasn’t going to say that.”

She shrugged at him. “I have seen a lot of people act like family doesn’t matter, and until you truly don’t have one, you won’t understand how hard it is to exist without them. You and Ford are both deeply caring men. It makes me sad you never figured out how to communicate with each other.”

“Me too,” Wes admitted.

He didn’t say anything else on the ride. The past might be harder to let go of than she’d thought. Hers and his.

Somehow he had thought he’d come closer to forgiving Grandpa and himself until he’d recounted it to Sera. He wasn’t ready to forgive Grandpa. He’d been drunk and young. His grandfather should have recognized that and let him cool off.

But instead, Wes had gone all Sitwell and told him to fuck off.

Which he’d had a right to do, but that didn’t make it easier to accept. He’d always found it hardest to apologize to people who mattered to him. He should have stuck around back then, but he’d been too young and hotheaded to even contemplate it. He’d packed up and driven to the next town and gotten a motel room because he was hungover and had just wanted to stay in bed. But at least he’d left Birch Lake behind.

And that was why he struggled to find a reason to stay that wasn’t about Sera. The first time he’d left Birch Lake had been with his mom, when she’d taken him and Oz to her family in California and kept them there until his dad paid her. Then when his father had them back, they’d lived in Birch Lake for one summer before he moved them to Portland and the condo he was renting.

Wes had never left on a good note.

---