Page 53 of The Bookbinder's Guide to Love

Sera remembered when she’d rushed to Ford’s house and had found Wes. Not the books. She’d gone looking for a hidden enemy and had found something more. Maybe she needed to embrace that unknown. Except embracing anything she couldn’t figure out for herself had always been next to impossible.

“What I’m getting from this spread is that you need to start accepting your true self and the connections you have,” Liberty said.

“Great. So what’s that mean? I’m my true self with you and Poppy,” she pointed out.

“I wonder...what about Wes? Are you being authentic there?”

“In bed,” she said. But sex was easier. Sex didn’t mean family to Sera. And family was one thing Wes was stirring a need for in her. And he’d been clear he was leaving in like four weeks.

She wanted to keep her leading lady energy at the forefront of her decisions, making choices for herself. But the old Sera—the people pleaser who couldn’t help wanting to make permanent connections from temporary stays—was still there in the background. Still afraid to be herself in case that was the reason she never had anything lasting.

“I think you know what you need to do,” Liberty said.

“So answers will come from letting myself fall for him?” Sera asked.

“I’m not sure love comes with letting. I think it’s happening whether you want it or not. And the success you’ll find there is tied to your past and to Wes.”

Sera knew she had two choices: try to face it and see what happened, or fall back on the safety of old behaviors. Take what he had to give and then shove down her emotions when he left.

The leading lady would never go for safety. She needed to be bold like Ford had advised her to be. Take chances. Let someone care about her and believe the emotions could last.

Sera invited him to join her for dinner that night. While they’d been hooking up since Grandpa’s funeral, they hadn’t really been on a date. They worked together, often had a quickie in the back room, or once in his car when he’d taken her to a book auction and she’d gone down on him after.

But nodates.

He’d hesitated asking her out because it would make what they had feel real. Like this temporary thing would have new boundaries and become something unpredictable.

Yeah, he knew Grandpa would tell him to stop sleeping with her until he figured it out. Wes understood that wisdom, though it felt outdated. The more times they hooked up, the harder it was for him to think about leaving in four weeks or so when their agreement was up.

He had never thought about living in Birch Lake. His father had left as soon as Oz and Wes had been returned to him. So Wes’s feelings toward the town were split in two. He had his childhood, when he’d resented having to come here. And he had those three college years when he’d learned the crafts and skills that had saved his sanity and given him his career.

Then there was his fight with Grandpa and this new territory with Sera.

“It’s just dinner,” she said dryly. “I’m not sure why it’s taking you so long to answer.”

“It’s not just dinner to me,” he admitted. “If I go...it’d be a date.”

She tipped her head to the side, studying him the way she did when he was being an ass. After Liberty had gone into the back room, Sera had seemed to shake the mood she’d been in, and he was glad. He wanted her to be happy.

That was why he was hesitating on the dating thing. He wasn’t sure he would make her happy.

Mentally he could tell himself that everyone controlled their own happiness, but he knew he had the power to make her unhappy, and that wasn’t something he was prepared to live with.

“Oh, a date. What have we been doing, then?” she asked.

“Hooking up.”

“Sure, but what about the talking in the shop and all that? I thought we were becoming friends,” she pointed out.

“We are.”

“So sex and friendship is one thing, but dinner together is a bridge too far for you?” she asked.

Now he felt like an idiot, because obviously when she framed it that way... He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to find a way to say the things she needed to hear, but the words were all bottled up in the back of his throat and he ended up letting out a groan of frustration.

She started laughing. “God, I keep forgetting you’re emotionally constipated. Have dinner with me as a friend if that makes it easier.”

Constipated? Maybe. But he didn’t like hearing that from her. “I want to date you. But I don’t know if I can stay here and I’m not sure you’ll want me to, and goddammit, Sera, I refuse to hurt you again.”

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