Page 27 of The Bookbinder's Guide to Love

“No. But he wants to know about Ford, and I need an experienced pair of hands to help out,” she said. “I’ve been very impulsive tonight. Can we blame the new moon?”

“New moon is for new beginnings. Maybe that’s what’s driving you,” Liberty said. “I’ll do your cards tomorrow and see if hiring Wes is the right thing to do.”

“It sounds logical to me, but I think having your cards read can’t hurt,” Poppy said. “I’ll make him some tea when he comes and read his leaves too.”

“Thanks,” Sera said, feeling better having talked to her friends. She’d felt alone in the pub, but she’d known she wasn’t. She had all of this feminine energy and sisterhood in her life.

They hung up a few minutes later and Sera stayed in her chair, pulling a book off the top of the stack next to her. She held it close and then looked down at it. She’d dog-eared the page to mark where she’d left off. Something she’d never done to a library book. There was a freedom in marking the page in her own way.

Her gaze lifted to take in her surroundings, her own place. She hadn’t just found sisters in Birch Lake; she’d found a home, and she was finally starting to find herself too. Was sleeping with Wes a mistake? Only time would tell. But tonight, with grief sitting so close to her in this empty room, she’d needed him like she needed these books.

She shook her head as she opened the cover and skimmed the first page, but her mind was too busy. She wasn’t really interested in reading.

She went to the planner on the table and opened it up. She’d saved the letter Wes had sent and put it in between the pages. Writing was what she needed to do—not about Ford, because that was still too much. She had no idea where else to start but with Wes.

His presence in her life reminded her of when a new social worker would get her case. He had an agenda and something he wanted from her, just like the social workers. Sera knew she was only a number to them. A kid who needed to be placed and then monitored to make sure she stayed out of trouble. There had been no investment in her as a person.

She was leery of allowing her attachment to Ford to transfer to Wes. She didn’t know him. He’d been estranged from Ford for at least the two years she’d known the older man.

As much as he said he didn’t want the books, she knew he still did. They were his grandfather’s, and whatever had happened in that relationship wasn’t over yet.

She would do her part in helping him know the gentle side of his grandfather. But that was it. And no more hooking up.

She wrote that last point in big letters at the bottom of the page.

Once was okay, but if she let him become a habit, it would be trouble. There were moments when she saw something in him that made her long for something more. She didn’t know what it was. She wasn’t comfortable thinking of a family or anything like that. As close as she was with Liberty and Poppy, she still kept part of herself private.

And she knew that wouldn’t change. There was no way she would ever let anyone see that deeply into her. She might be changing into the leading lady, but that didn’t mean she had to give all of herself to the world.

Some leading ladies were quiet and private. And she had better reason than most to keep herself that way.

She felt better about tomorrow. When Wes came back, she’d be professional. She needed his help and he’d offered it. Maybe he’d give her some closure about Ford as well. She could help repair their bond and then move on.

Seven

Wes had always been a night owl and luckily his business suited that tendency, so when he woke at eleven, he dived into work emails. He’d hoped it would be a distraction from thinking about Sera.

He’d fucked up last night.

He’d known it at the time, but his arrogant side thought he could have her and still be all chill about the books and Grandpa. But he wasn’t. He should have just ignored that sweet, tempting mouth of hers and the images she’d planted firmly in his mind of the two of them hooking up in the hall. But he hadn’t.

Actually, hooking up with her in her hallway had exceeded the images in his head. Which he was trying not to dwell on...and failing. He had to be his best self today.

Wes rarely felt his best self in Birch Lake.

He shoved his coffee mug away and got up to go. Wes stared at the snow falling in the overgrown but dead-looking backyard. God knew he wasn’t the only thing that was a mess here. The house showed more signs of age than it had when he’d lived with Grandpa.

Ford might not have been the best grandfather in the world, but he’d always been there for Wes. Only now that he was back here and Grandpa was gone, Wes could see he hadn’t been a very good grandson. It had somehow seemed easier to pretend all the blame... Hell, he’d never really thought all the blame was Grandpa’s.

More like the blame, if there was any, belonged to them being Sitwells. Their family sucked at talking things out. They were all stubborn as fuck and never apologized.

Perversely, Grandpa dying was like him getting the last move in a chess match that ended in a stalemate. Why was their family this way? Why was Wes?

He wanted to make a promise to himself not to let something small and petty come between himself and his dad or Oz, but he probably would. And then would he be in this situation again? Left with a bunch of regret and unresolved shit when they died?

He hoped not. But hope wasn’t enough. Yesterday he’d decided to stop trying to take the books back from Sera. And maybe he needed to also decide to stop being stubborn with his family. But how? He had no idea how to change a lifetime of behavior.

He’d start with the books.

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