Page 23 of Starry Night Kisses

With a deep breath, I begin my tale of the magical weekend I spent on Sutton Lake two Christmases ago. And I tell Eric all about the last man I’d fallen this hard for.

evie

Surprisingly, by the time the story is over, Eric isn’t looking at me like he needs to take me back to the city and check me into a psych ward. He thoughtfully chews the last of his dinner, head tipped back to look at the canopy of stars that now covers us.

Finally, when he speaks, his voice is soft and kind as he asks, “So, this man, Jonathan, he just showed back up out of thin air with a wife and kid?”

“I know, it sounds like he played me for a fool, doesn’t it? But I’m telling you, that isn’t what happened.” I stretch out on the blanket Eric laid on the bank for us earlier, having inhaled my dinner while telling my tale.

Eric shakes his head, setting his plate to the side and stretching out beside me. He folds his arms behind his head, the muscles of his biceps straining the fabric of his Henley. It makes me want to roll ontomy side and run my fingers along them just to feel his sheer strength.

To feel safe in his arms.

“It would be easy to think that, but it doesn’t explain the cabin or the people in town not remembering you,” he muses, eyebrows dipping together in concentration like he’s trying to figure out what could have happened.

“Exactly! Right?” I exclaim, sitting up and shifting toward him with my arms spread out. “And then a year later, there he is, looking younger and with the family he’d said he’d lost. I’m telling you, it was like a weird time portal or something. One that only worked when I arrived and then left. It, like, deactivated after that or something!”

Eric chuckles, reaching up to tuck my hair behind my ear. “And are you sad he didn’t know who you were?”

The question feels heavy. Like Eric will base how he feels moving forward on my answer. His hand moves to cup my cheek as he shifts to his side, holding his weight on his forearm while running his thumb across my cheek. “Do you wish you’d never left? That you’d stayed and developed a relationship with him?”

My eyes fall to the swath of blanket between us, but Eric slides his hand beneath my chin to tip my head back up. “It’s okay, Evelyn. You can be honest with me.”

A shiver runs through my body as he calls me by my full name. It’s almost like Eric’s tell—how I knowhe’s switched from that friendly golden retriever energy to the dominant alpha. Along with that, his voice grows deeper—huskier—when he speaks.

The sensual combination of it all makes me putty in his hands.

“I did,” I tell him honestly, the words coming out in a whisper as his thumb slides up my chin to stroke along my lower lip. “I was angry at first, but it didn’t last long at all. When I figured out what was happening, I could have remained silent—could have not told Tiffany to stay. Strategically placed myself in Jonathan’s orbit to pick up the pieces. But that isn’t the type of person I am. I was—am—happy that they’re together and safe. He deserves that.”

“And what do you deserve?” Eric asks, pushing to a sitting position. Our knees brush together as he scoots closer.

“I deserve to be happy, too.” I don’t even realize I’m crying until he brushes a stray tear away from the trail it’s making down my cheek.

“Do you want to know what I think?” He grabs my hip and scoops under my knees, setting me between his legs and positioning my back to his chest. I rest my head on his shoulder and he rubs his cheek along mine, nuzzling my neck as he wraps his arms around me.

I don’t just feel safe, I feelseenand cared for. It’s such a small thing, but the intimacy of it means the world to me. “I’m glad it worked out the way it did because it led us to each other.”

I tilt my head to the side to look at him from my peripheral. “You don’t think we’re moving too fast?”

“I don’t think there needs to be a time limit on things like this. We are attracted to each other. We’re compatible. Why do we need to go on ten dates before putting a label on it?” He rests his forehead on my temple and tightens his hold on me.

The fabric of his shirt is buttery soft as I stroke patterns up and down his arms. “I guess I’m just scared of falling so fast again. I think I’m guarded after everything that’s happened. I don’t want to get hurt again.”

Sure, things are great right now, while we’re far away from our adult responsibilities—or his, anyway. But what will happen when we get back and he returns to work? I don’t want to be with someone who will always be absent.

“Evelyn, I’ve been waiting for a woman like you my whole life. If anyone is going to hurt anyone, it will be you hurting me.” He pulls back again and kisses the spot where his forehead was resting.

A sharp sting pricks my chest, the hole filling with a thick, icy fog as I think about the conversation we need to have about kids. As much as I don’t want to have the talk, this is the time to come clean about my infertility.

“Eric. About that…”

I feel him stiffen against me, his body going rigid even as I turn back around and lean against him, not able to bear seeing the disappointment on his face when I tell him the truth. “It’s obviously way toosoon to even be talking about kids, or having a family, but you should know before we take things further. I can’t… I can’t have kids.”

The breath he blows out ruffles my hair as he drops his forehead against the crown of my head. “Baby–” he cuts himself off with a deep sigh. Moments pass where neither of us speaks, but Eric holds me to him, gently stroking his fingers back and forth across my arms.

Finally, he asks, “Do you want to have kids? Is being a mother something you’re interested in?”

Guarded is the only word I can think of to describe the tone of his voice. My answer is a mere whisper, surrounded by a faint cloud of my breath as the temperature drops the longer the night stretches on. “I don’t know.”

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