Page 92 of What Lies Within

My goddamn twitching pussy takes notice. “I’m so grateful you said you’d help me that day. That you took me in and gave me a chance here.”

He pulls away, rising off the bed and standing at my bent legs. I raise myself on my elbows to see him better, confused as to why he took offense to what I said.

“Shit, Rae.” Hand scrubbing over his head, he paces away and then back to me before confessing, “You do understand why I let you in here, right?”

I frown. “Because of Terry.”

“Because of what you could do to him,” he stresses. “Because of what youcando.” Tyke laughs. “I ain’t a good man, Rae. Don’t confuse me with one. I know I promise to keep you safe, but shit, I can’t promise that I won’t ever hurt you with the things I do.”

“You won’t ever do it intentionally.”

His gaze drops to the floor, one eyebrow cocked. “You sure about that?”

Fuck him.“No you don’t.” I shove myself to the edge of the bed and rise to my feet. “You shut up. You hear me?” My fist collects his shoulder. “You don’t get to do that, Tyke.”

“Do what?” He sets one foot back to brace himself yet doesn’t give an inch; his brow tugged tight.

“Make yourself out to be the devil.” I shunt him in the same spot with the flat of my hand. “You don’t get to manipulate me into believing what I feel is a lie. You can’t tell mehowI feel about you."

His hand captures my wrist, pulling it high to force me close to him.

Our chests collide, his other arm snaking around my lower back to keep me in place. “And howdoyou feel about me, Rae?”

“I already told you.” My bravado crumbles under his dominance.

He leans in and whispers against my ear. “Say it again.”

My breath is loud, sawed into too-tight lungs as I do the math on why the fuck I struggle just to say it.Because it makes you vulnerable.The truth screams loud, pointing to the obvious answer.

Iamscared to be hurt again. To be let down, left behind, and forgotten.

I'm worried that leaning into what I know—that I love this man before me—means the good thing has already happened. That the inevitable bad thing will follow.

“You gotta say it, Rae.” His head brushes the side of mine. “You can’t truly believe it if you can’t say it.”

I close my eyes, visualize that fucking cliff, and take a step into the abyss of my emotions, the fear as real as though I genuinely were falling, given how my heart races. "I love you." Three words said without urgency in the privacy of a room with just me and the man to whom it applies. The fear recedes. "I love you, and it hurts me how much I do. What's worse is itconfuses me how quickly I fell for you," I explain, running with the thoughts as they come. "You fucking barreled into my heart with such intensity," I stress, "that it scares me to know I could lose you so easily. And through no fault of my own. It scares me to think I wouldn't be strong enough to survive that, to survive without you."

"But you would." He cups my head, fingers knitted in my hair as he kisses my temple, pulling me back from the edge of hysteria. “Can’t you see it? You already are strong enough, and if anything did happen to me?” He sighs. “I feel right knowing Digger is there for you too.”

“But what if?—“

He shushes me, fingertips to my mouth. "What if nothin', baby girl. Learned pretty quick growing up in this life that you can't dwell on the future. It'll come whether you want it to or not. All you gotta do is make the most of what you have now." He hitches me against him again. "And right now, I got you."

"I love you." I say it again as I cup his neck, thumbs beneath his jaw. I say it again to prove to myself that I can. That it's not as scary as I make it out to be.

I say it because this man before me? He deserves to hear it.

Most of all, he deserves to hear it from me.

36

TYKE

She’s not alone.

It confuses the fuck out of me how, after swearing off women for so long, managing to stay solo and keep my focus on the club and the club only, she managed to crack the seal I’d placed around my heart. And all without even trying. There was no pursuit with Rae, no obvious flirtation or weeks of sexual innuendo shoved in my face until I gave in.

She won me over by being nothing but her true, fractured self. It was her rawness that drew me to her, knowing that what I see is what I get. She doesn't lie, put on a facade for the people around her, or try to chase trends.

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