Page 44 of Insta-Love

“Look,” Mum says in that tone that tells me she’s giving her final word on the matter. “We can watch Lily if you want to spend time with him. Take it slow. You don’t have to rush over there if you want to see where things are headed. We’re here to support you, but we’re also here to be your voice of reason.”

“He doesn’t seem like the kind of man you need,” Dad mumbles, focus back on the TV as he scrolls the channels while muted.

“What kind of man do I need, Dad?” I was about to argue that a relationship isn’t the reason for the shift, but this—this needs explaining.

He huffs out his nose, refusing to look at me. “One who’ll stick around, Ava.” The remote drops to his lap with a clatter. “You need to learn how to find a man who’ll be there to provide for you in the long term.”

“And that can’t be Bowen?”

“He parades around preening himself like a goddamn rooster,” Dad cries. “He doesn’t have a real job. What’s he going to do if he experiences an injury?”

“Why do I need to have a man provide for me?” I shout, aware I should tone it down to save from waking Lily.

“Because you clearly can’t do it for yourself.”

The silence in the room is deafening. All three of us hold our breath, none of us daring to move let alone say anything.

Blood pumps through my veins, the rage a fist around my lungs. “Let me know if Lily wakes,” I say curtly as I rise from the seat. “I’ll have my phone on me.”

“Where are you going?” Mum scoots to the front of her seat, hand poised on the arm, ready to rise if need be.

“Out. I need space to think.”

“Let her go, Gina.” The coward can’t even look at me as I leave.

Never mind an apology.

Throwing my failures in my face, much?

I collect my phone from the end of the kitchen counter on my way past, shunt my feet into my shoes, and then head out the door. The conflict in my head leaves a literal ache as I stall on the moonlit driveway, acutely aware that I haven’t got the slightest clue what I want to do next.

I know what I can’t do, though. I can’t go back inside. Not after making my point by striding out.

Don’t do it, Ava.

I do it.

The evening chill leaves the hair on my arms on end as I duck across the lawn, careful to avoid rolling my ankle in the water meter divot. I hesitate on his front step, my heart hammering a heavy beat in my chest.

I could back out and walk away. I still have time to change my mind. Maybe take a loop around the block to clear my head.

Yet as I look at the muted light visible through the glass panel beside his front door, my father’s opinion of Bowen has my hand lifting to the wood to knock out a firm beat.

Damn Dad’s misperception of the man. Maybe Bowen does appear to be a show pony of sorts if all you know is the man he depicts online. But Dad’s had a chance to meet him. Surely he could see there’s more to the guy than what he shares on social media?

My breath catches in my throat, my heart slowing to a near stop as the door latch clicks.

I’ve never been this forward before. Never pushed this hard for what I want without a single care if that’s what the other person wants too. I was never the girl who approached boys as a teenager, because the fear of what ridicule I might get if they didn’t like me back left me too afraid to try.

“Ava.” Bowen steps back, opening the door wide.

But this guy … I know he does want me, and that makes doing this ten times more terrifying.

Especially when he’s literally shirtless and mouth-watering in his freshly showered state.

I step inside, the nerves easing with the simple action, my breaths coming slower. steadier. I’m doing this. I’m doing this, and it’s okay. I repeat the mantra as I make my way through to the living room while Bowen shuts the front door.

“Everything okay?” He glances at the time on the microwave as he passes the open-plan kitchen. “It’s late.”

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