Page 40 of Insta-Love

Gina waves a dismissive hand, now settled in the seat beside Lily. “We’ll be fine.”

Ava settles on the lounger near the door, watching silently as I shut the glass slider behind us and move to the far side of the patio. I’d rather have this conversation with as little chance of being over heard by her mother as possible. Thank fuck her old man’s not home, because I don’t think I’d handle the heat from him.

“What did you want to say then?” Her hands rest comfortably on her stomach as she kicks back, yet her tone is anything but comfortable.

“Look, I’m sorry if the whole caregiver thing upset you. I didn’t want the woman to asshole me out. That’s all.”

“She wouldn’t have,” Ava states flatly. “It was visiting hours; anybody is allowed in as long as they aren’t causing a fuss.”

“I know.”

“And yet you thought she’d kick you out because you weren’t family.”

“Why is it like this?” I jam my hands in the back pockets of my jeans for somewhere to put the damn things. “I was right.”

“No.” She sighs, swivelling to sit wit her legs off the side of the seat. “You weren’t.”

“I was.” I widen my stance, shoulders firm as I prepare to battle this out with her. “You came home last night, and now you seem as though you can’t wait to be rid of me.”

“Just like you seem as though I piss you off again.” Her gaze is challenging as she tilts her head my way. “I guess then we’re even, because we both changed.”

“I still like you.”

“And I still tolerate you.” She smirks, clearly teasing. “It’s … things are complicated.”

“Lily’s dad?”

Ava shakes her head, eyes on the concrete at her feet. “No. Me.”

“You think things are cut and dried for me too?” She looks up at my statement, seemingly surprised. “Six months ago I took a look around at the life I lived,” I explain. “At the shallowness and the emptiness of it. I promised myself to make a change, to learn to enjoy it again.”

“You don’t now?”

I shake my head, stance firm. “It used to be about the bodybuilding, right? It was about pushing my own boundaries, about being better than anyone thought I could be. And then it was about the ranking, the associated products I was given, the likes.” I huff out my nose, unable to look at her although well aware she studies me. “I lost the passion. It’s routine now. A job.”

“You don’t know how to get it back?”

“I do.” Her brow is firm when I find her again. “But the last few months, shit, the last couple of days? You’ve kind of turned the whole plan on its fucking head.”

Ava scoffs at the idea, once again disbelieving of her own worth. “Me? I’m to blame for your mid-life crisis?”

“You are.” I move closer, dropping to my haunches before her to level our faces. “You’ve shifted my priorities.”

“To what?” she whispers.

“Family.” Her frown deepens. “You’ve highlighted what it is I’m missing; what I’ve always been missing.”

“But we’re not yours to have,” she stresses. “We’re not your burden.”

“Why not?” I reach out and snag her hand, conscious her mum can see us. So fucking what?

“I’m not your type,” she whispers, gaze on our joined hands. “I did think about your offer, about what you said, and I can’t help but feel we’d just be setting ourselves up for failure.”

“Won’t know unless we try.” I’ve never failed at a thing in my life. If I fail at this now…

“Don’t you agree that this is really sudden?” she asks with a chuckle to her tone. “We should take things slow, if we decide to take things anywhere at all.”

“Would the outcome be any different?” Because this woman and her girl have already left one hell of an impression on my heart.

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