Page 27 of Insta-Love

Lily smiles, and then opens her book while her mum fusses with the blanket.

“Will you be okay, baby? I can stay if you want me to.”

Lily shakes her head, chin still down, but eyes on her mother. “No. I’ll be okay.”

“Remember, if you need anything, call the nurse. They’d rather you bothered them for no reason than kept something important to yourself.”

Lily nods, and Ava leans in to give her a kiss to the forehead while I rise from my seat.

I pocket my phone and stand at the foot of the bed, again, jealous at what I see.

I never had that. I always wanted that. I still want that kind of love.

Undivided, natural, and real.

“I’ll be back in the morning. Love you.”

“Love you too, Mum.”

I wait until we’re in the hall before knocking my shoulder into Ava’s. “You always this over-protective?”

I don’t get the light-hearted response, let alone smile that I expect. Instead I get a measured turn of the head as she slows her pace.

“Over-protective? Is that what you call it?”

Fuck this. I truly thought we’d turned a corner.

“And you wonder why you’re single,” I mutter, charging ahead.

“I’m single,” she snaps, a few steps behind me, “because I put my child first. But I guess you wouldn’t know a thing about that, so how can I expect you to understand?”

Oo, this … “No,” I bark, turning and walking backward so I can face her. “I don’t know the first thing about it. And not because I don’t have any kids of my own. You want to know why I don’t have the first clue about putting a child’s needs first?”

She stops walking, as do I. “Why?”

“Because,” I hiss under my breath, aware we draw an audience, “nobody ever taught me that it was the norm. I never had anyone to learn from.”

She struggles to catch up when I take off for the car again. “Wait.”

“Nope. You need to get home, and I need to get the hell out of here.”

The eyes. The people who watch as we make our way down the halls … It all reminds me of those days, of the pity, of the worry, and ultimately the nothing.

“I’m sorry I snapped, Bowen. I shouldn’t have taken my stress out on you.” Her small hand connects with my bicep.

I shake it off, staring at her as she drops her arm to her side. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

Her brow pinches, and she puts distance between us when we reach the lifts. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Everything.

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