Page 13 of Insta-Love

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Bowen

My sorry ass made it ten minutes before I stripped the clothes off my back and jumped under the cool jets of the shower. Fuck me. Well, yeah, that’s what I want her to do. Why? Probably because I know she never would. She despises me—the first time I’ve seen a woman react like that around me since … shit, since school.

Mind you, that asshole comment about her getting stitch by walking to the mall probably didn’t help. I’ve got no idea why I said it. I just … I know exactly why. Because her rejection of my offered ride left me open and vulnerable. She probably thinks I do that all the time, that it’s one of my plays to get the ladies hooked: stun them with something sweet and pull their guard down.

Hardly. I’ve never offered a ride to anyone before. But her, she just looked so defiant when her damn car wouldn’t start, the stony look in her eyes said it all: she’s had it rough. Why else would a woman her age live at home? Her age. She’s got to be younger than me, and she has a school age kid. What does that say about her past?

But she said no to my ride, and like the moron I am I clutched my wounded pride to my chest and struck back with knives made of words. Dick. You’re a dick, Bowen.

Eight years I’ve been honing this body. Three I’ve been building my social media brand. And in all that time I’ve never been turned down or left wanting. People saying no isn’t something I’m used to anymore. I heard the word enough when I started out to loathe it, to hate it, and to use the anger it caused inside of me to fuel my determination to be so good they couldn’t say no.

And I won. I did it. Nobody turns me down now, except her. I don’t even know her name.

Goal one: find out the MILF’s name.

My life is split into goals; it’s how I’ve been as successful as I have. Nothing is too daunting when you break it down into bite-size pieces. Each day is divided into manageable chunks: keeping my nutritional intake balanced at each meal, reaching new milestones with every set at the gym, answering all emails before I head to bed at night, and updating the vision boards I’ve kept since I started this crazy ride that show me how far I’ve come. Nothing to motivate you to work harder for more like seeing what you’ve already achieved.

I switch the shower off and step out to wrap a bath sheet around my waist. Water trickles over my chest, running in rivers along the defined edges of my muscles. It’s a vain and hollow habit I have, letting the water trace the lines of my success, but fuck it, so what if I feel good about the way I look? I worked my arse off to get these results and if I want to revel in that glory by doing something as ridiculous as letting the water tickle a path over the contours of my body, then so be it.

Although at this moment I could imagine something that would feel better than water tracing the lines. Her eyes were so dark, fixated on the swell under my T-shirt as we spoke. I checked her out too, I’ll admit it, and damn it all if her small hands didn’t intrigue me. The woman barely reached my shoulder; she has to be all of five foot-four or less. Visions of her tucked snugly under my arm, her legs wrapped over mine, and her feet tucked under my calves are clear as day when I close my eyes.

I head out into my bedroom and pull the towel free as I walk, using it to dry off the last of the moisture from the shower. Music drifts over the fence from her house—scrap that—her parents’ house. Why is she at home? What happened? There was no ring on her finger. Bad breakup? Has to be …

I tug on a pair of shorts and snatch up a bottle of water on my way through the kitchen. The sun’s still got an hour or so in it, and to be honest the music coming from her place isn’t all that bad: classic nineties rock. My back yard needs a tidy up already, the lawn slightly overgrown and weeds peeking through the basic garden the rental agency provides, but tomorrow’s another day. For now, all I need is my water, the sun, and a few minutes of lying on my lounger to deepen the natural tan I rock all year round.

A shallow existence to some, but for me it’s one that’s light years away from the shithole I started this life out in. Pride doesn’t seem so much of a sin when you’ve seen what lust, greed, and wrath can do when rolled into one ugly revenge-seeking duo.

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