Page 105 of Down Beat

“Do they? Because I don’t see them around right now. I don’t see them here witnessing this.”

He holds my gaze, jaw working left to right.

“What do they see, Rey?”

His scrutiny shifts as he heads for the bedroom.

I follow him in, standing at the door as he begins to undress. I need to hurry this conversation up if I expect to hold it without distraction. “Tell me.”

He sighs, tossing his denim vest and T-shirt to the floor. “Put it this way: Toby wrestled me after I told him to leave me alone to get it right next time so that he wouldn’t have to deal with me and my shit ever again.”

My heart damn near stops as sickness rises. “Get what right?”

Those red eyes snap to mine as he looks over his shoulder. “You know what.”

Fuck. I can’t do this. I can’t pretend that I’m strong enough to do this.

“I said I won’t leave, and I meant it. But I’ll only stay on one condition, Rey.”

“Give it to me.” He heads for the bathroom.

I follow him to the door, talking to his back as he flicks the shower on. “That you promise to let me know if you think of doing that again.”

“Say it.” His words are a cold knife against my throat. “Show me you have enough guts to say it. Don’t pussyfoot around me, kitty. I don’t like people who treat me with kid gloves.”

“Taking your life, Rey,” I grit out. “Promise to tell me if you feel like dying is the only option.”

His smile is sad as he unbuckles his belt. “Guess what.”

I can barely get the word out of my throat. “What?”

“I feel like that right now.”

Shit. Holy shit. How the fuck do I deal with this. “Why?” My voice breaks.

“Because I miss the mania.” His shoulders rise with a sigh before he drops it all; naked as the day he was born before he steps in the shower and behind the frosted glass panel. “That’s the only thing about a high that great,” he calls out as I literally fold to the floor. “It amplifies the low.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“I wish I could promise you the same.” He stops moving beneath the flow as a sigh echoes off the glass. “I really do. And you know why?”

God, don’t tell me. “Why?” This is going to hurt; I know it.

“Because I think I figured out why I need you here with me.”

My chest aches as I fight to control my breathing, my legs tucked to my chest.

“I think I love you.”

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