Page 48 of Tough Love

“Indifferent, I would have said.”

“Why did she not look upset?”

“She didn’t say a thing when I offered my sympathy.”

“I’m surprised she came.”

Do they think I can’t hear them? That two rows of seating is sufficient distance to pass judgement on somebody?

Briar is disturbingly quiet in my arms, his fingers tapping absently on my forearm. I turn my head and rest my lips against his temple, smelling his clean hair. He’s so pure, so undamaged by the world until now. He’s innocence, open trust, and everything I wish I could find again.

“Aunty?” he whispers.

“Yes?”

“Where will she go?”

I move my lips to his ear, squeezing him tight. “You’ll see later.”

We’ve planned to travel together to the burial, and then I’ll split off with Briar to spend some time away from the wake. The funeral itself is bound to be enough of an emotional drain on the poor kid without him having to sit around and listen to a bunch of strangers talk about his mother as though they knew her better.

“Hey.”

I lift my head and look to my right, doing nothing to hide my surprise. “Hey to you, too.”

Evan stares straight ahead at my parents as Dad offers Mum his handkerchief. It’s the first time I’ve seen him out of uniform, and I’m starting to wonder if the guy is capable of looking bad. Dark grey slacks hug his legs, polished black dress shoes peeking out at the hem, but what takes me by surprise is his choice to buck the trend and go without a matching suit jacket. Instead, he wears a short-sleeved pale grey shirt, dressed up with a thin black tie.

“Hey, Briar.”

My nephew twists in my arms, a smile spreading across his lips. “Officer Evan.”

I’m abandoned in favour of our visitor, Briar clambering to sit beside the man he so clearly admires.

“I gave Mummy a teddy bear,” he announces.

“That’s sweet of you.”

“I didn’t want her to be alone.”

Evan’s distressed gaze lifts to mine, and I break the awkward silence by explaining, “It says ‘World’s Best Mum’ on its belly.”

He nods, swallowing hard.

“Thank you for coming.” He never mentioned the funeral at the start of the week, and to be honest, the invitation never crossed my mind. Sure, he knew Kath from when we dated, but outside that he was as much of a stranger to her as I was.

Evan shrugs dismissively, and then stands to take Dad’s offered hand as my parents return to their seats. “Mr Harris.”

“Evan. Thank you for coming.” Dad’s gaze flicks to me, before landing back on Evan with a smile.

Did he …?I look between the two of them, wondering who in factdidinvite Evan.

“It’s my privilege.” Evan leans in and gives Mum a kiss on the cheek. “Mrs Harris.”

I lose the rest of my heart to this man in that moment. Even after my parents’ clear judgement of him, of how he broke their daughter’s heart many years ago, he’s so thoughtful, so respectful and kind. So perfect that it makes me feel less guilty for the desire to further explore the man he is now.

We spend the entire service seated as one complete unit: my parents to my left, and Evan with Briar to my right. Mum sobs on and off throughout the eulogies; Dad does his best to hold it together, but I catch the glimmer of unshed tears as they read a prayer for Kath. Briar sits remarkably still, absorbing everything. He seems almost as though he doesn’t quite get it still, until the pastor steps around, and with a blessing, shuts the lid on Kath’s casket.

“No,” Briar cries. “It’s too dark.”

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