Page 76 of Tough Love

She shrugs, taking her seat across from me. “I don’t know, hon. I just want you to keep trying is all. Don’t give up this easy. You’re gorgeous, you’re smart, kind, considerate … I could go on for days. If he’s too blind to realise what’s in front of him, then I can guarantee somebody out there is looking for you.”

I don’t want to be found, though. I want to be seen by the one person I long for the most. The emo kid who loved me even when I couldn’t love myself.

“I miss him.”

“I know.”

“He knew everything already, you know? It was easy to be myself around him.” I reach out and take my drink.

“But that’s not all, is it?” Jess challenges before sipping her wine. “The fact he knows what happened to you in school isn’t the only reason you miss him, is it?” She lowers her chin, levelling me with her gaze.

“No.”

I don’t even know how to describe it, that soulful connection you get with another. When I’m around him, nothing else bothers me. My world narrows when he’s in view, and I like how it feels to have those blinders on. It’s as though I’m focussing on the only things that matter: the people close to me.

“What if I misread him?” I ask. “What if he wasn’t that into me?”

“How many nights did he come over to see you at Kath’s?”

“Most of them.”

“How many times did he message you?”

“Every day.”

Jess glares, her lips curling up on one side. “Yeah, he wasn’t into you at all.”

I grab the throw pillow from beside me and toss it at her. She cries out, holding her wine out of the way as it hits her shoulder.

“Come on! You know I’m telling you the truth.”

“So why was he with another chick?” One who seemed the complete opposite of me in every way.

“Does he have sisters?”

“No.”

“Maybe she really was just a friend?”

I raise an eyebrow and dip my chin.

“Okay, fine. Sheesh. I was just trying to be optimistic.”

We both laugh, settling into our seats more. My chest heaves with a sigh, and my smile quickly fades as the scene at the mall plays through my mind for the hundredth time.

She was more than a friend, and what’s worse, is although Evan made it clear he was still into me, we never named what we had.

We weren’t dating. We weren’t an item. It was just … I can’t even name it. Therefore I’ve got no grounds to complain if he changed his mind. No right to dictate who he sees when he’s not with me.

Nothing other than the basic need to be treated like a fucking human being with feelings.

“If it’s really eating at you, why don’t you just go see him in person instead of giving him the option to reject your calls?”

I frown. “I don’t know where he lives.”

“You know where he works.” She waggles her eyebrows.

“Yeah, because the local police appreciate that kind of interruption to their duties.” I bat my eyelashes, playing the part. “Excuse me, Sergeant, but could you please tell Officer North that I really miss him.”

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