Page 27 of Tough Love

“Sure thing, sweetie. Love you.”

“Love you too, Dad.”

Still on my back, I raise the phone over my face to end the call and tap through to the message. A smile spreads as a flicker of excitement tickles in my chest.Evan.

I didn’t want to impose, but we have Katherine’s things at the station when you’re ready.

My shoulders drop as I stare at the message. Piece by piece the absolute end comes together, and for the first time since receiving the call about her accident, the urge to wind back the hands of time sucker punches me in the chest.

We had so much left to talk about. So many things unsaid.

So much pride standing in the way.

Not imposing. Thank you. I’ll catch a lift and pick it up tomorrow.

He responds immediately, catching me off guard with my hand halfway to setting the phone down.

I’ll bring it over for you. 8AM too early?

What time of day does he start work? I make a mental note to set an alarm, so I can at least be presentable when he arrives at the door. With my lip pinched between my teeth, I punch out my reply.

Not at all. Thank you.

I feel like a giddy teenager, the familiar reactions he evoked within me ten years ago as fresh as though we’re fifteen and walking hand-in-hand down the main street all over again. He’s simply offered to drop off my sister’s belongings to save me the hassle of finding a ride to the station.My dead sister’s belongings.The flutter in my chest drops to my gut like a tonne of rocks. I’m so fucking heartless. I know when it comes to Kath I’m detached in my feelings, but to completely set her memory aside while I swoon over Evan—I’ve reached a new low.

My chin dimples, and I throw an arm over my eyes. God, I’m a bitch. A cold-hearted, emotionless bitch. And what’s more frustrating is that I know that deep down I’m not like that; I care so much for the people who mean something to me, it’s ridiculous. Yet, as soon as I’m let down or hurt by one of them I manage to detach myself so completely I may as well be a complete stranger to them.

“You okay?” Jess’s soft question comes from my left.

I remove my arm and roll my head to face her. “Am I a horrible person?”

She kneels beside the bed and cocks her head. “Why would you say that, Mimi?”

“My sister died this morning, and here I am looking forward to wine with you and a house call from an old flame tomorrow.”

She cocks her eyebrow in silent question.

“It’s a bit of a long story,” I say. “But in a nutshell, the cop who brought Briar into the hospital the other day was a guy I haven’t seen since we were dating almost ten years ago.”

“Wow. Talk about life playing havoc with your emotions,” she says with raised eyebrows.

“Right?”

“You’re not horrible, though,” she reassures. “You’re focusing on the things that don’t hurt. It’s natural.”

“Is it natural that when I think about the fact I’ll never see Kath again, never talk to her, that I feel….” I frown, searching inside of me for what it is. “Nothing?”

“You said yourself you weren’t close.” She reaches out, stroking my hair off my face. “Don’t beat yourself up over it, babe. You might not love her deeply, but you still cared, otherwise why would you have gone to the hospital in the first place?”

“But is it enough?”

Jess shrugs, her full blonde ponytail bouncing as she does. “Only you’ll know that.” She pats the bed beside me twice in a motivating gesture. “Come on. I have wine, cheese, and deli meats to devour.”

“Just one glass though, okay?” I say, swivelling to sit up while I rub under my nose. “I need you to drop me around to Kath’s after if that’s okay? Mum’s struggling with Briar.”

“Anything.” She smiles as she stands. “Briar’s your mystery nephew, right?”

“Yeah.” I can’t help but smile as his sweet face enters my mind. “He really is quite adorable.”

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