Page 59 of Perfect

It was like there was a silent understanding between us at that moment and the tension lifted. Like Connor had surrendered slightly.

I moved forward and pushed gently against his body and he stepped back further to give me more space, his expression guarded.

“A few of us are going into Scarborough tomorrow night, why don’t you come?”

This got his attention and he raised his eyebrows and shot me a pointed look.

“So now you’re seventeen, you think it’s safe to go clubbing? The town is a complete dive Harlow. You won’t enjoy it.”

“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. But it’s a change. I’d enjoy it if you were there.”

“Do I look like I’m the type to go clubbing?”

“Yes actually. You’re a young, attractive guy. Why shouldn’t you go out and enjoy yourself? You have it all really Connor, you’re just missing one element.”

“I see, and what’s that Doctor Williams, since you suddenly know me so well.”

“Fun.”

He smirked. “Ah, fun. That strange word that everyone goes on about.”

“Yes. It’s something that you appear to have forgotten how to have it.”

He looked at me broodingly. “I can think of a lot more ways of having fun than getting shit-faced and going clubbing Harlow.”

I knew he was referencing sexual fun but I moved the conversation on.

“Well, me too but still. Why not? Give it a go. Come with us. I promise I won’t force you to dance or anything.”

His sexy eyebrows rose at that one. “You couldn’t if you tried Harlow.”

I smiled. “Please at least think about it. I’d love it if you came but it’s up to you of course.”

I delivered what would be my last words that evening. Connor did open his mouth to speak but I held up my hand warding him off.

“I suggest you soak your hands before bed Connor,” I instructed, taking control. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I gave him one last meaningful look with my hand flat against my chest, hoping, no praying that he’d get the message that I was there for him. That I had some type of feelings for him even if I wasn’t sure what kind they were yet. I wanted him to know he wasn’t alone. So much had happened in such a short space of time, I felt thoroughly railroaded

As I walked away, I knew he was watching me leave and I hoped he’d call me back but of course, he didn’t. I felt an overwhelming urge to cry but managed to restrain myself.

As I arrived back in my room without waking anyone, my eyes were drawn to the faint trace of blood on one of my shoulders. Blood from Connor’s hands, I traced it with my finger before an overwhelming feeling gripped me.

I threw myself onto the bed and allowed that evening’s events to pour out of me into my pillow. I felt a tightness in my throat, like I was nervous and at that point, I realised the barefaced truth of the matter.

Connor Barratt had the power to ruin me.

Ten

He was notably absent again during most of the day on Friday. Dad said that Connor had gone to the village to trade some cattle, but I had my suspicions that this was probably bullshit. He was still trying to avoid me. There may have beensometruth in there of course but I imagined Connor hadofferedto go to the market to escape from whatever this ‘thing’ was between us. I knew from my father that he usually took the cows to market himself.

The weather had started to turn, the skies were bleak and there was a chill in the air, which was strange for what was usually the hot point of the summer.

I had spent the last few hours pottering around and helping Dad with bits and bobs, I’d even managed to sort out the nightmare that was his study. There were books, paperwork, and unopened letter piles on his desk, not to mention an old cup that had who knew what growing in it, but I’d eventually managed to coordinate the chaos.

As I was in the process of wiping a space I’d cleared, the phone rang but I left it, believing that Anna would pick it up. After around a minute of listening to its shrill sound, I grabbed the receiver and a pen in case I needed to take a message.

As I answered, I was greeted by silence and I repeated my ‘hello’, surmising that it was probably a Call Centre and I was waiting to be connected. I’d cottoned onto these types of calls. There was always a delay, Mum usually just hung up as she was sick to death of taking PPI and ‘were you recently involved in an accident’ calls.

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