Page 83 of Perfect

“The usual shit. He doesn’t like to be challenged and hates the fact that he can’t do whatever the hell he wants to me now. He’d come for Rachel. I wasn’t going to let him get to her.”

There was a thread of steel in his tone.

“Did she leave him because he was abusive to you both?”

He exhaled sharply and rubbed the muscles in his neck. “Yes, but not like that, not with her. He saved the physical stuff for me. With Mom, he just ground her down emotionally and made her feel like a piece of shit. I’m sure you know the story.”

“What do you mean?” I questioned, not wanting to worry him about people gossiping.

“I know people talk about it. You don’t have to hide it from me.”

I paused, deciding against denying it.

“Yes, you’re right. I do know some stuff but I’d rather hear it from you.”

If he was annoyed by my revelation, he didn’t show it.

“There isn’t much to say really. My dad’s a worthless piece of shit and my mother left him.”

I leaned forward on the bed and placed a hand on his duvet-covered thigh, it was strong and warm beneath my fingers. His eyes flickered down to briefly witness the motion before he raised his face again. He was so beautiful, even with the battered face. He made me burn with just one look.

“It must have been horrendous. I can’t even imagine it. My parents could really go at it when they used to fight but it wasn’t ever abusive, at least I don’t think so, just two people falling out about fairly mundane things,” I explained.

Connor nodded his understanding before sharing his version of events.

“Carter knocked up Rachel with me when she was only sixteen and her family threatened to throw her out if they didn’t marry. I doubt they had anything in common to start with, apart from a one-time fuck that backfired.”

I could see the anger in his eyes give way to hurt. Connor was the product of that backfire, no wonder he didn’t feel wanted.

I wasn’t having it and needed to reassure him. “Your mother must have wanted the pregnancy though. There are ways of dealing with unwanted ones. She must have wanted you, even if your father didn’t surely?”

“Who knows, she has a funny fucking way of showing it at times.”

He paused, almost reflecting on his sentence before brushing a hand through his tousled hair. “But then again, what do I have to compare it to?”

I was just about to speak but he cut me off, obviously done with the sharing, for now, anyway.

“Anyway, fuck that shit. I don’t need you feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want from you. Pity.”

I frowned, recoiling slightly, the tone was definitely back in his voice and I reminded myself that he wasn’t a straightforward guy. He was hot one minute and then cold the next and if I was to be part of his life, I would have to learn how to deal with that. Connor had emotional wounds that had scarred him for life. Maybe I could be the one to help him live with them but I needed to take it slow.

The words he said earlier, echoed in my head. ‘You make me want to be a better person.’

‘Ditto.’ I thought, then said. “Everyone needs some understanding now and then Connor.”

I accepted defeat. The moment was lost.

He closed his eyes. “What I need right now is sleep.”

Frustration bloomed in my chest as he shut me down and I could see he was about to turn onto his side.

“Is there anything you need before I go?” I questioned, trying not to sound too sympathetic, the soft stuff didn’t seem to work on him. On the surface he was tough but underneath, he was just like any other guy with a past, terrified and alone.

Rising from the bed, I smiled down at him as he repositioned his body, his head turned to mine, his eyes now open.

“Goodnight then,” I whispered before turning away.

“Harlow?”

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