Page 72 of Perfect

I tried to digest everything he was saying without losing my shit in front of him and demanding he take me back.

“Well, it kind of explains a lot. His mood swings and that. After something like that, you’d surely have a variety of issues.” I swallowed hard, so hoping I didn’t cry.

He nodded. “Absolutely and Ella wouldn’t lie about something like that.”

I paused with a painful feeling in my chest. It felt like a fist was crushing my heart. The fact that Connor had confided in Ella fricking Wade and not me also stung, likereallystung.

A thought occurred to me. “I wonder if my dad knows. Connor alluded that he does.”

“I would imagine he does. Even if Connor doesn’t easily speak about it. Rachel would have told him surely?”

Pausing for thought, I realised that I agreed with him.

“Well, you’d think so. Dad never said anything to me though. Just that Rachel’s ex isn’t allowed anywhere near her. I thought he was spouting jealous boyfriend stuff. I remember him mentioning him before they were married.”

We were in the village now and I could see the sign for The Crown and knowing that we wouldn’t be able to continue the conversation in public, I hurried him up, thinking back to my earlier concern about the type of abuse.

“Is that all, do you know anything else? Was it just physical as in beatings? Please tell me Ella didn’t say anything about the sexual type of shit.” The very thought made me even more sick to my stomach.

He shot me a cornered look.

“Ella didn’t say it was sexual abuse. She said it was more messed up than just beatings though, more sophisticated. If you can use that word to describe what that sick fuck did. For instance, have you noticed that there are no TVs in your house?” he began.

My eyes narrowed, but I didn’t need to think about my answer. I’d established there were no TVs on day one.

“So? What’s that got to do with anything?”

Tom pulled the Volvo into the car park. “Ella said that his dad used to turn the volume up on the TV full blast and hold Connor’s head against the speaker when he was a kid, as a punishment.”

I screwed up my face in disgust as the impact of his comment hit me. “That’s twisted. How old was he?”

Tom parked the car and turned off the ignition.

“I don’t know exactly, but young like a toddler, I think. As he got older, his dad also used to smack him around the head. That’s why he struggles with his hearing in one of his ears and why your dadmustknow, otherwise why no TVs?”

The comment about Connor’s hearing made me sit up straight in my seat

“What do you mean hestruggles with his hearing?” I blasted.

“Ella reckons it’s due to eardrum damage caused by his dad’s attacks. You must have noticed?” He shot me a searching look before he reached around to grab his jacket off the back seat.

I so didn’t want to be at the pub at that point but knew I’d have to ride it out, at least for an hour. I could then try and deal with the thoughts overloading my head before I saw Connor.

Realising Tom was still waiting for my confession that I had been totally ignorant of Connor’s ear issue, I shook my head. “Not really, I just put it down to him being ignorant. I’m such a blind idiot.”

I tried to recall all the instances when I’d spoken and he’d either blanked me or misheard what I’d said and another flood of emotion surged through me. I had been such an oblivious bitch.

“This is majorly messed up. I’ve probably said stuff I shouldn’t have, but how thehellwas I to know?” I confessed. “He doesn’t wear a hearing aid or anything?”

Tom slipped his coat on.

“I know. It’s obviously notthatbad but he does ask you to repeat stuff quite a lot. Please don’t blame yourself, how the hell could you have known? Connor is so guarded and of course, why wouldn’t he be? I’d have severe trust issues too if I’d been through half of what he has.”

I folded my arms across my chest and pursed my lips. It was a struggle to digest everything he was saying. I closed my eyes and pushed my head back against the headrest.

“God, this is a shit storm isn’t it. Now I understand Nate’s cruel comment about his ‘good ear’.”

Tom twisted towards me.

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