Page 76 of Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

My mother was spitting mad. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Luke shrugged and didn’t respond, but it was answer enough, so she shut the drawer.

“Fine,” she spat out. “We’ll eat like heathens, just like we always have. Far be it from me to add a little class to this family.”

“Is that why you’re wearin’ your tiara?” Dixie asked, coming down the stairs with Bill in tow.

“I’m wearing my tiara because I was plannin’ to share my good news,” my mother said, giving Dixie a dark look. “But God forbid I want to share my success with my family.”

“Fine,” I said, holding my hands out, taking the bait. “Share your good news.”

“No,” she said with an upturned chin. “I’m plannin’ to share it at dinner.”

Was that why Meemaw had planned this shindig? Because she knew about my mother’s news and had wanted all of us to hear it?

“Where’s Burt?” Dixie asked as she and Bill moved closer to me and Luke.

“That’s Uncle Burt,” my mother said. “Show some respect to your kin.”

“Burt Morana is no kin of mine,” Dixie said with a cold look in her eye. “And I barely claim you.”

Jeez, this was going to be a long night. All the claws had already come out and we hadn’t even sat down to dinner yet.

“Burt is feeling under the weather,” my mother said with a nod. “Thank you very much for carin’ about his health.”

I couldn’t help noticing that Burt had been under the weather the last time we had a family dinner. I suspected the reason for Burt’s absences was because he struggled to stomach the drama that invariably unfolded when we all got together. How hehandled everyday life with my mother was beyond me, because she courted trouble like it was a rich, single prince.

“I’m sorry if he’s feeling poorly,” I said, truly meaning it. “I hope he feels better soon.”

My mother looked only slightly placated.

I noticed that Teddy wasn’t around, and I could only imagine his reaction when he saw that my mother would be dining with us. I was already worrying about his reaction to Luke, since the two didn’t get along.

Meemaw brought out a large platter of fried chicken, and Luke rushed over. “Let me help you with that, Meemaw.”

“You keep your mitts off of it,” she said. “I know you’re just trying to get the first chicken leg off the platter.”

“Well now,” said Luke in a good-natured drawl. “If one accidentally fell off into my hand, what’s a man to do?”

Luke was too well-mannered to let such a thing happen, but it didn’t stop him from teasing my grandmother. And she loved every minute of it.

“You’ll get your turn,” she grumbled as she set the platter on the table. “You can come into the kitchen and grab the bowl of green beans. It’s the last of my jars from last summer,” she said, “so no more green beans until July.”

Luke and I helped carry the rest of the dishes out to the table, and it looked like Meemaw had planned to feed an army. In addition to a huge platter of fried chicken, there was okra, green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy, pickled beets, cooked carrots, and a plate of homemade bread-and-butter pickles.

We’d all sat down at the table, Teddy’s seat glaringly vacant, when I heard the screen door in the kitchen slam.

“Sorry I’m late,” Teddy called out. “Let me just wash up and then I’ll be in.” We heard the water running in the kitchen, and about ten seconds later, Teddy appeared in the doorway, his mouth dropping open. “Aw, hell no.”

He started to turn around and walk out, but my grandmother called out, “You stop right there in your tracks, boy, and come sit down.”

He spun around but stayed in the doorway, shooting dark looks to my mother. “Who invited Aunt Beatrice to dinner?”

“I did,” Meemaw barked. “So sit down, you’re late.”

Grumpily, he walked over to the table and pulled out his chair, sitting down next to me. “Where are the cameras? The only time Aunt Bea shows up is when she has an opportunity to expand her fifteen minutes of fame.”

“No cameras,” Meemaw grunted.

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