“Hell if I know.”

“You should find out,” I said quietly.

He turned to me in surprise. “Why?”

“Because if my mother showed up on my doorstep, I’d want to know. I’d hate her, and I’d probably send her away at first too, but ultimately, I’d want to know why she went to the trouble of coming all this way to see me.”

“But she didn’t even come to Kate’s funeral,” he said, his voice breaking. “Her own daughter.”

“I know,” I said past the lump in my throat. It had killed Joe at the time, and he’d vowed he was done with her. “She’s a selfish bitch, but I’d still want to know.”

Joe’s eyes grew haunted.

“How did Rose take it?” Jed asked.

“Pretty well, considering she was the one to answer the door. She backs my decision, and she thinks I handled the whole situation well; however, she said if her mother showed up, she’d ultimately want to talk to her.”

“So, what are you going to do?” Jed asked.

Joe ran a hand over his head. “I don’t know, but last night while I was in bed, unable to sleep, Rose told me I can take my time to figure it out. There’s no hurry to make a decision.”

“Typical Rose answer,” I said with a soft smile. “Just because your mother decided now was the time to drop into your life, doesn’t mean it’s the right time foryou.”

“Yeah.”

“Let her stew,” I said. “You’ve got plenty of time to sort it out.”

“Unless she’s dyin’,” Jed said. “Then you might not.”

I swatted his thick bicep. “Hush your mouth. I suspect that self-centered woman would have led with that.”

The hint of a grin cracked Joe’s serious expression. “You’re right.”

He left soon after that, and Jed and I decorated the tree during Daisy’s next nap. The FBI threat still hung over my head, no matter how much I tried to ignore it. Jed knew something was bothering me, and he asked a few times if I was okay, but he finally kissed me and said he would stop pestering me, that he knew I’d tell him when I was ready.

Which made me feel even more guilty for keeping it from him.

But why was I keeping it from him? It was wrong. He had a right to know. Yet, I knew once I told him, our life wouldn’t be the same until it was resolved. And I’d rather suffer with the uncertainty on my own than drag Jed into it and destroy any hope of a happy Christmas.

When Jed put Daisy down for her afternoon nap, I decided to get a jump start on my plan and I sent Carter a text.

I need to meet with you tomorrow

He sent a response back pretty quickly.

I already told you I can’t help you

This is about something else

He didn’t respond for nearly a minute before he texted back.

When have I ever been able to refuse you anything? Be at my office at 9:00 sharp

The next morning,I got to the office a little after eight, still trying to figure out how to explain to Rose why I was leaving the office and walking across the square to Carter’s office. There wouldn’t be any hiding it from her. Our office had a direct line of sight to his.

But soon after I sat at my desk, Rose called and said that Mikey had come back from his grandparents’ with a cold and a fever. She was going to stay home with him and try to work from home.

Typically, I didn’t like being alone in the office—I didn’t like being alone period—but this morning I was happy for it, despite the fact that my imagination was running wild with all the possible doomsday scenarios. Surely, there was a way to stop the FBI from questioning Jed. I just needed to get Carter to help me.