Page 11 of All I Want for Christmas

He sawed away at the trunk, while I squatted next to the stroller and told Hope what her daddy was doing.

It was a warm day for Christmas tree chopping, but it was better than being cold, and I enjoyed people watching as much as I enjoyed watching Joe make quick work of cutting down the tree. There were a lot of families at the tree farm. Some were enthusiastic about the excursion, but others had reluctant members in their group. Particularly, a family with a teenage girl and two younger siblings. The teenager spent most of her time on her phone until her father took it away and told her she was there to spend time with her family, not text her friends.

I wondered if Ashley and Hope would be like that someday. I supposed it was part of nature’s way of making kids leave the nest, but I hoped they’d still love being with us.

One of the wagons was making its way up the hill to pick up customers and their trees, and I could see at least two families who looked ready to load up theirs.

“If we hurry, we might be able to get on this wagon,” I said. “Unless you want to drag that tree back to the parking lot.”

“Yeah,” he grunted. “I’ll pass.” He put a little extra effort into sawing and the tree fell a few seconds later.

Joe set the saw on the ground as he lifted the tree, holding it upright at his side. I pulled my phone out of my jeans pocket and took a photo. “Do you feel like a lumberjack?”

He grinned. “I feel like a thirty-year-old guy pretending to be a lumberjack. I suspect I’ll be sore tomorrow.”

I laughed then bent to pull Hope out of the stroller. “Let’s get a picture with Hope. Can you hold the tree uprightandyour daughter?”

He reached out his free arm and wriggled his fingers at me. “Bring her here.”

I handed her to him, then stood back and took several photos, trying to get her to look at me, but she kept reaching up and grabbing Joe’s ear. He couldn’t stop laughing as he tried to convince her to look at Mommy, but she was more interested in him.

After we realized that was the best we were going to get, I walked over to them, held up my phone, and took a few selfies.

The wagon was approaching, so Joe handed Hope back to me and flagged them down. The driver, who was wearing a dirty Santa hat, hopped out and helped load the tree in the back, then Joe collapsed the stroller and loaded it too. The two families were already on the wagon, and the teenage girl sat with her arms crossed over her chest, her lips pressed into a thin line.

We got in and rode the short distance to Jed and Neely Kate, and after they got their tree on board, the driver declared the wagon was full and headed back to the entrance. Joe narrated everything we saw to Hope who kept grabbing at his face, and my heart felt close to bursting.

The wagon rocked and bounced down the hill then stopped next to a sign that saidChristmas Tree Lane. The lane was only about twenty feet long and six feet wide, with the shed at the entrance on the right, and several canopied tents scattered on the left. Christmas lights glowed overhead, attached to tall poles. Animatronics and inflatables lined the lane, but I could see the food truck farther down and at the end was a portable shed with a sign that readSanta’s Workshop.

The driver turned around on his seat and patted his belly. “Ho, ho, ho. You’ve reached the North Pole and the end of your journey. Get your photos taken with Rudolph and Santa, while I take your tree up to the office to be wrapped up. The line for your photos is to the left.”

Sure enough, on the left, past the inflatable angel, was a photo backdrop of snowy mountains. A four-foot-tall plastic Rudolph stood on one side with a family standing next to it. The father pretended to be feeding the reindeer his hat. Three more families stood in line, waiting their turn.

“Come on, Jed,” Neely Kate said, moving to the end of the wagon. “Let’s get in line.”

Jed started to say something but then stopped and grinned. “Whatever you want, NK.”

Joe glanced at the plastic reindeer, then tilted his head and pursed his lips. “Um … I think I’ll go to the front office with the trees. You know, to make sure we get the tree we cut down.”

“Good idea,” I said a little too quickly. “Hope and I’ll go with you.”

“What?” Neely Kate said. “You can’t go, Rose! Hope has to get a photo with Rudolph.” Then she added, “But it makes sense for Joe to go. Rose, if you don’t want to be alone in your photo, we can take one with you.”

I didn’t want to be inanyphoto with a plastic recreation of Rudolph that looked like it had been stored in a barn for fifty years, but I wasn’t going to say so. For some reason, this was important to Neely Kate, and I was sure it was something other than her “Perfect Christmas” wish. But making such a big deal over a photo with a plastic reindeer seemed odd. This was further proof something big was eating at her. So, I smiled, and said, “Sounds good.”

But I gave Joe the evil eye as the wagon pulled away.

Of course, he just laughed.

CHAPTER FIVE

NEELY KATE

Ifelt a little foolish insisting Rose and Hope stay with us. I reallydidwant a photo of my family, but Rose didn’t need to be here, especially since Joe was going up to handle the trees. Yet, something deep inside said I needed her here. Maybe it was the panic roiling in my gut.

I’d spent all last night and today letting Carter’s news fester inside me. If I thought I was panicked last night, it was even worse in the light of day. For most of the day, I’d convinced myself that Carter was only speculating—he didn’t know anything for certain, but then when I least expected it, a fresh wave of terror would wash over me, making me feel like I was drowning. Having Rose and Joe with us made everything seem more normal, like Carter’s news was just a bad dream. Being alone with Jed only made the fear worse.

But Jed was no fool. He knew something was up, and he’d asked me several times if I was okay. I’d tried to assure him without outright lying, but he knew me well enough to know I wasn’t acting like myself.

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