Page 77 of A Merry Mountain Christmas

“What on Earth?” I hear Nana Mayberry snap, to which the PA very loudly announces that I have my period.

Fantastic. My ears are burning, and I feel like the little girl who had to ask Nanny Rose what a period was because my mother had never told me.

But Tina has us out and through the door in seconds. “Okay, let’s find a bathroom. Do you know where we can find one? I haven’t spent time in this part of the house, and this place is laid out like one of those murder houses in movies where everyone gets killed but none of the other people hear it happening.”

She’s not wrong. I lead her to a bathroom, even as I say, “Do we actually need to go to one? I don’t have my period, obviously.”

“They don’t know that,” she says. “And yes, at least we can be pretty sure the bathroom’s not bugged.” She makes a face. “Reasonably sure.”

My heart beats faster, my mind dredging up that night down at the pool. Rowan, with his head between my legs. Rowan, without a shirt on.Rowan.

“You’ve got that lovesick look again,” Tina says as we reach the bathroom. She drags me in and turns on the lights. It’s not until she shuts and locks the door that she takes in the room’s theme—gnomes. There’s a gnome toilet paper holder, and the toilet is designed so the bowl looks like it’s being held up by two gnomes. The water dispenser in the sink is shaped like a gnome’s mouth.

“Seriously?” she says, making a hand gesture that bumps into my arm. “What the hell is wrong with these people?” After giving herself a full body shake, she skewers me with her gaze. “Okay, spill. You’re into someone, I can tell. Who is it? I have to warn you, though, I’m pretty sure Zach would challenge, like, ninety percent of these guys to a duel to the death rather than let them marry you.”

I laugh at the thought of Zach challenging Jonah to a duel. I’m pretty sure Jonah would tuck tail and run, or maybe he’d blurt out that he’s a virgin so Zach has nothing to worry about. Then I feel tears tracking down my cheeks.

“Oh, shit,” Tina says, instantly drawing me into a hug. “I didn’t mean it. Well, okay, I sort of meant it, but I’ll keep him from doing anyone bodily damage. Plus, let’s be honest, Zach’s not the type of guy who’d get into a physical brawl. He’s more likely to poke holes in a guy’s ego or order him a shitty drink on purpose.”

“It’s not that,” I say, pulling away. “It’s just…”

“What?” Tina asks, then tilts her head, studying me. “Wait…it’s not one of those guys, is it? To be honest, they all seem…”

“Like stuffed shirts?” I offer, because I’m sure that’s how Tina sees them. She’s one of the most light-hearted people I know.

“No,” she says. “They seem like they’re not for you. Is it one of the PAs? Crap. Was it the guy I told the period lie to?”

Sighing, I close the lid of the gnome toilet and sit. I probably shouldn’t tell her. There’s obviously no future with Rowan, the only man who’s ever turned me orange. Truthfully, though, the whole orange debacle doesn't hurt nearly as much as the way he walked out on me. It made everything we’d shared, which had felt so special, feel cheap and meaningless. Like a one-night stand, not that I’d ever had one of those.

But the words pour out anyway, like maybe they need to.

“It’s Rowan Mayberry,” I say on an exhale. “He’s been working on set as a handyman. Or at least that’s what I thought. He acted like he was helping out, but he admitted that he’s been trying to sabotage the show.”

“Oh,shit,” she says with feeling, then gives a nod. “I can see it. He’s hot in this severe mountain man way. I guess you fought about the show?”

“Of course,” I say, getting worked up by the memory. “He knew why I wanted to do the show, why Harry wanted to do it, and he was still trying to mess things up.”

Tina nods again. “So what’d he do, anyway?”

I tell her, and she gives me an unreadable look. When I finish, she says, “Those aren’t the actions of a ruthless man, Kennedy.”

I kick at the base of the sink, a gnome, of course, with one foot. “I know that.”

The thought kept recurring to me last night, right when I was on the verge of falling back to sleep.

He has a heart.

In fact, it’s his warm heart, the secret tenderness he buries down deep, that has endeared him to me from the beginning.

“Tell me more,” she says, her eyes shining, as she perches on the edge of the sink.

“What about Zach?”

She waves a hand dismissively. “I told him I’d drive. He can get drunk on champagne and insult all your suitors.” A grin stretches across her face. “It only makes it funnier that he won’t be making jabs at the real one.”

I can’t tell her everything. I’ll keep Rowan’s secret about his parentage for as long as itisa secret, and my future sister-in-lawdefinitelydoesn’t need to know that I slept with him, or opened my legs to him that night at the pool, but I find myself telling her about most of it. The Christmas tree farm. Jay’s heart attack. Rowan bringing me the tree. His visit the other night…

When I finish, I pause, waiting for her response. I realize I don’t know how Iwanther to respond. I’d like her to be fired up on my behalf, definitely, but part of me also wants to know that she doesn’t judge Rowan too harshly for the role he’s played. I’m mad at myself for feeling that way—he left me as if I were nothing to him—but like most people, I’m not always logical.

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