Page 51 of A Merry Mountain Christmas

“Well…” She tightens her grip on my hand, spreading the electric feeling, and then says, “You told me your father wasn’t a nice man. That he left you. You seem to think a lot of Jay. Maybe this means…”

“Thoughta lot of him,” I say harshly, not entirely sure I mean the reversion to past tense. “He messed around with a married woman. He suspected I was his son for years and did jack shit about it. The only reason he knows now is because my mother finally confirmed it.” More bitterness slips into my voice as I add, “To him, mind you, not to me. And she only told him because she wanted to reveal the truth on this show. She figured it was her big chance to get some airtime.”

She releases my hand, and I’m seriously getting weak for this woman, because I’m sorry for it. Her hand lifts to her throat. “I’m so sorry, Rowan. Oh my God. I can’t even…”

“It’s not going to happen,” I say. “He refused her. But he figured he should tell me, especially since….”

To my horror, I feel heat gathering behind my eyes. I haven’t cried since I was a kid…since the day my dad left and told me I’d need to be a man and take care of my little sister, Willow, because he wasn’t going to be around anymore. Now I’m on the verge of tears for a different father. Seeing him collapse like that earlier…I thought he was gone. I thought I’d have to call Ivy with different news. I thought I’d have to say goodbye to theone parental figure who’d meant a damn thing to me. But the day had shaped up so differently. It had hollowed me out in a different way.

I hear again what Kennedy just said—maybe this is a good thing.But she only thinks that because she’s sweet and innocent.

Then, to my surprise, she’s wrapping her arms around me, the towel crinkling between us. “Oh, Rowan,” she says into my ear, and in that moment, with the two of us wrapped together, I can’t imagine giving her up.

The door opens.

“Chop, chop,” Holly calls out from beyond the opening. “This is your thirty-second warning.”

Kennedy’s arms drop. The moment ends. I shore my emotions up, back into the deep pit where I usually keep them. “Thanks for the distraction, Princess,” I say, lifting a hand and chucking her chin. “I won’t be forgetting it anytime soon.”

“Neither will I,” she says, staring into my eyes. “Talk to Zach about this…he’ll understand.”

My brow furrows. “What? You want me to tell your brother—”

“No. Not about us. About your dad. He’s been through something similar.”

I know he was disowned by his father. Everyone and their dog knows, but no one knows why. I nod, although I don’t have any intention of bringing it up. For one thing, I’m not so sure I could look him in the face right now, knowing he’d want to smash mine in if he had any idea what I’d done with his sister. For another, that’s a man’s private business, isn’t it? I wouldn’t much like it if he asked me about mine.

Still, she’s waiting for a response, so I give a nod.

“You’re not going to do it,” she says, smiling slightly.

“We’ll see.”

“I know that means no. You come and see me again, all right?”

“Okay,” I say, even though I don’t mean that either. The look on her face, sad but knowing, suggests she’s well aware of that. I guess she can read me like a book. That’s part of why I need to stay away. I already feel a deep-seated need to claim her for myself—and, worse, to let her stake a claim on me. I’ve never let anyone do that before, and I’m determined not to start making bad—or worse—decisions now. I’ll be Cupid only in name, not in action. “Let me see you to your room.”

“That’s okay,” she says with a thread of sadness in her voice. “I know the way, and you already dealt with the spiderweb. It’s probably best if you all just leave.”

I know she’s right. After all, my grandmother and Jonah are creeping around somewhere on the grounds, but I don’t like the thought of leaving her.

The door opens again and Holly calls out, “Time’s up.”

Kennedy starts to walk toward the exit, and I follow. “I’m going to go back up to my room,” she tells them.

“I can—”

“Alone,” she says. “I’ll be fine.”

“Here,” Harry offers from the open doorway. He takes several steps forward, Maglite extended. “Take this. It can double as a weapon if one of the guys sees you and tries to get fresh.”

The thought of this possibility, however unlikely, makes me want to growl, but Kennedy just takes the light and thanks him.

“I wish you’d let me take you up there,” I repeat.

“I think you need to go,” she tells me. It’s said firmly, like she won’t be allowing any arguments. “You need to talk to your family now.”

She’s right.

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