Page 50 of A Merry Mountain Christmas

“Maybe you guys could wait outside that door,” I say with a gesture to the door on the other side of the pool room.

She rolls her eyes, then says, “Don’t even think of trying to escape through the window.” Like me and the rest of the delinquents who grew up here, she did the Labelle Pool Challenge too.

“I won’t, but Nana did,” I say, because it’s at least a little funny.

Her eyes narrow. “I’m going to want to hear everything about that…in a minute.”

Harry gives us a jaunty wave, Maglite in hand, then follows Holly from the room, leaving me and Kennedy alone together. They shut the door behind them to give us some privacy. I still don’t have a shirt on, and although I’m not particularly self-conscious about it, I know it’s cold outside. It’s always chillier at night and in the morning in the mountains, and tonight it’s dipped into the thirties. So I grab one of the big towels from the floor to wrap around myself.

“Make sure it’s not the spider one,” Kennedy says.

When I look at her, she’s giving me a sad smile. Something like regret blossoms in my chest because our night was cut short, and the next time we see each other, I’m going to have to pretend I don’t give a shit about her, other than as the star of this ill-thought-out show. I don’t like that. I like it even less that she’s here at my grandmother’s mercy, when it’s obvious Nana has none. She’s messing around with the male contestants, throwing around promises and favors like she’s some sort of magnate.

The sooner the show is shut down, the better.

And yet…Kennedy’s so passionate about her work, so sweet and driven and genuine. I don’t want her mission to promote Leto’s Hands to fail—I just want my grandmother to.

“I thought you liked men who attract spiders,” I tell Kennedy, smiling slightly. Maybe I’m trying to bring some lightness back to us.

“You were going to push me away before they got here,” Kennedy says, giving me a lofty look that’s all princess. Her hair is mussed and her lips are swollen from my kisses, which only make her more appealing. I want to sweep her away from here, to claim her as my own—which is such a stupid thought it sends fear pumping through my veins.

I’ve seen where that kind of thing leads, and I want no part of it.

Jay must have been infatuated with my mother when he cheated with her. I was born of such an infatuation.

“I was,” I admit staunchly. I wrap the towel around my shoulders because I don’t want to have this conversation half naked. “You know this can’t lead anywhere, Kennedy. You’re here to find someonerich,” I say, referring to the title of the show. “I don’t know how to break it to you, Princess, but I’m just this side of broke. You’re going to have to pick another horse toride. Although after what we just heard, I’m hoping you throw off my grandmother’s boy toy at the first opportunity.”

She looks at me with the contempt I absolutely deserve. “So that’s how it’s going to be, huh? You’re pushing me away.”

“I…” But the words dry up because I don’t really have any.

“Go, then. Go if you want to.”

“It’s not that I want to, Kennedy,” I say, reaching out to touch her arm. I’m not sure why I’m objecting. She’s giving me the dismissal I need. Maybe it’s because I can still taste her on my lips and my balls are telling me that I’m going to be feeling an ache for her all fucking night. Touching her arm was a mistake, though, because I can instantly feel an electric pull to touch her more.

“So whatdoyou want?”

“I don’t know,” I tell her honestly. “Today was a mindfuck.”

“Seeing your stepfather like that.” She nods. “It’s not the first time I’ve seen someone have a heart attack.”

Her words surprise me. “Really?”

“Olive’s grandmother. She came over to help with us one day, and…” She swallows, her elegant throat contracting with it. “She didn’t make it.”

“Christ,” I say, rubbing my hand up and down her arm. “I’m sorry that happened to you. I’d wondered if today was the first time…”

“No, but it’s not the kind of thing that gets easy.” She touches my hand, still on her arm. “It’s okay, Rowan. I wish things were different, that we’d met some other way, like you said, but you’re right. This could never work. We were crazy for letting ourselves believe otherwise.”

It’s what I thought I wanted her to say, but suddenly I don’t want to hear it. Maybe that’s why I blurt out, “Jay told me something at the hospital.”

“Oh?” she says, perking up.

“He…he says he’s my father.” Her expression is confused, so I add. “My actual father. I guess he had an affair with my mother while she was married to the man who I thought was my father.”

Her gasp is so sweet, so concerned for me, that I nearly buckle on the spot and kiss her. I want to swallow that gasp. I want to take a piece of her away with me, like a thief in the night. “Oh, Rowan. I’m so sorry…except…maybe this is a good thing.”

At this, my face slips into a scowl. “I don’t see how it could be a fucking good thing.”

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