Page 338 of A Merry Mountain Christmas

He was right. But he’d said it with such acid, when just this morning they’d sat pressed together on the couch, drinking their coffee with the dogs. A unit. That moment of perfection felt so far away right now, and tears pricked at her eyes. Tears she couldn’t bear for him to see when he was this angry with her.

“Why didn’t you tell me? You’ve been so forthright about everything else. Why not this?”

If he’d said it more softly, with more understanding, she would have reacted differently. She would have let those tears fall, maybe. But it was almost an accusation.

So she steeled her back, trying to calm her hammering heart, and said, “Because it’s not an issue. Yes, I had feelings for River in the past. I’ll admit it was confusing for me when he first metGeorgie…and even when they got engaged. Which I knew about weeks before you did. But we werenevertogether. We’ve never even kissed. Have you told me about all of your old high school crushes?”

Defense, defense, defense.She knew what she was doing, and it made her sick inside. So she forced herself to stop. To take a breath.

Looking into his eyes, pleading with him to see her perspective, she reached for him. He let her take his hands, and something eased inside of her. “Jack, you’re the one I want. I haven’t lied to you about anything. The thing with River…it was hard to let go of it, just like it has been to sort through the things in this house. He was going through a tough time too after my parents died, and we leaned on each other harder than we should have. It was inevitable that I would feel that way about him. But we’re not right for each other. It never would have worked between us.”

She tried to communicate silently that she wanted a life withhim. She could see that life so crisply. The holiday lights outside the house. Family dinners around the table, only they’d get a new table, one they picked out together. Iris would help her choose which things to keep and which to give away. Maybe Molly would too. And…

“I work with him,” he said. “He’s going to be my brother-in-law.”

And it felt like something cracked inside of her. The vision that had been so clear moments ago felt like glass coated in grime. She dropped his hands. “Georgie doesn’t hold it against me, so I don’t know why you would.”

He cocked his head. “Are you sure about that?”

“What’sthatsupposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” he muttered, but the look on his face said it wasn’t nothing. Her fury must have shown because he sighed deeply. “She just told me that you might not be ready for a relationship.”

It felt like a little knife of betrayal pierced her heart. “When was this? I talked to her yesterday, and I thought we were cool.”

He squirmed. “Before that. She must have guessed yoursecret.”

He said it like he’d found out she kept a secret collection of dead spiders in a Tupperware under her bed. Or that she was like Blake, only she kept the dirty underwear rather than throwing them out.

Jack had always struck her as someone who respected other people’s silence. Someone who didn’t press and push and bully. Someone who gave a person the time to share what they wanted to. Where was that man? Then she thought again about that agreement Lee had wanted River to sign, and how he hadn’t seen fit to mention it to her.

“How about you, Jack? You have your secrets. You didn’t say anything about that shitty agreement Lee wants River to sign. I’m guessing you didn’t tell me because youwantit to happen.” Something flashed in his eyes, and Ein pawed at his pants a little. A bit of Maisie’s anger leaked out. “And look, I get that, I do—it’s your life, your work that’s at stake—but how fair is it for you to keep secrets on your terms and not expect me to have some of my own?”

“That’s completely different,” he said. “I was going to tell you. I just didn’t have the chance.”

She just lifted her brows, letting her silence speak for her.

“Look,” he said, “I feel like I’m not handling this well.”

Again, she didn’t say anything, because no, he wasn’t. Neither was she.

“This isn’t a good time for me to process this. I need some space to think, to—”

But she was already laughing, a bitter, humorless laugh.

“Oh, big surprise.Youwant space. You’ve been looking for every excuse you could find to stay away from me. Maybe you should thank me for hand-delivering one.”

“I’ve been nothing but honest with you,” he said, his face hard, closed down from emotion. “From the very beginning, I told you why I needed to wait.”

The tears pressing at her eyes became more urgent, and she knew it wouldn’t be long now before she lost the battle. She didn’t want that to happen in front of him. Not now. Not when he was looking at her like this, like she was some bug pinned to a board.

Her eyes fell on the small pile of wrapped presents under the tree. She’d wrapped her dad’s watch for him. It had felt like such a beautiful marriage of the past and present—giving something she’d cherished to the man she hoped would be her future, but now she wondered if she’d been naïve.

“I think you should leave,” she said. “Since you’re so desperate to get away from me.”

Einstein whined, but he came to stand at her feet, gazing mournfully at Jack.

For a moment, Jack looked like he was maybe on the verge of tears too, but then something hardened in him again, and he nodded. “Yeah, I guess maybe I should.”

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